But Seriously, Why Is Nobody Talking About These Famous Dudes’ Hair?

Beyoncé takes out her extensions and sports a pixie cut and the collective interwebs lost their minds. We analyze and over-analyze every style change a famous lady makes with her hair. But the guys? They mostly get a pass. Well that ends now. Gentlemen, we have some questions for you.

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1Justin Timberlake

Dear Justin: Our memories are not that short. We know you have totally kinky curls. They were part of the reason we first fell in love you and your boy band-y ways. Now, we would never recommend a return to those cornrows—that was just not cute. But we kind of miss your waves now that you’ve gone all keratin-treatment on us. Stylist Claire Bunham from Butterfly Studio Salon in NYC agrees that there is some straightening going on: “Justin, handsomely groomed, is definitely straightening his hair to achieve this look. Chemicals and formulas aside, we could work with a round brush, hair dryer and an iron—either a flat iron or large barrel curling iron—to create this style.” There’s not a curl in sight with this new “Suit & Tie” version of JT. It’s slick…but maybe it’s too slick? Discuss.

MORE: Celebrities Who Embrace Their Curly Hair

2Jason Alexander

George Costanza’s balding head was the centerpiece of many a joke and plotline on “Seinfeld.” And now, he magically has hair? Well, not so magically. Alexander is actually pretty open about his piece, which we totally respect. When he first started getting questions about it, he took to Twitter explaining that the baldness was affecting him personally and professionally and after much discussion chose a semi-permanent hairpiece. Way to own it, Costanza!

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3Brett Michaels

That bandana-over-wig situation is fooling no one, sir. Even if you think it does. We can only imagine what that synthetic hair feels like to the touch because it looks very, very shiny. “Brett sure does look like he’s rocking a wig or hair extensions to fill in the holes, so to speak—to add length or width to the hair he does have. Rock stars will be rock stars after all, keeping the look and lifestyle alive,” says hairstylist Claire Bunham. And listen, we see where you’re coming from: It’s hard to be the aging former front man of a hair band, sans hair. But that’s a tough lie to live forever. What will it take to free you from the (hair) ties that bind you?

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4Jeremy Piven

The actor and sometimes mercury poison victim has had many hairlines over the years. And while we know these often recede over time, hair is not known to suddenly grow back over a formerly bald spot. We wish Piven would take the Jason Alexander route and just own his plugs or piece, but we don’t see that happening any time soon. What does our expert Claire have to say? “Jeremy’s hairline is a gentleman’s nightmare come true. It’s generally a very touchy subject to talk about with all men. They are more worried about thinning and receding hairlines than you think, and they appreciate products that make hair feel dense. Jeremy gets the help of hair plugs, but shaving it off completely is the way going forward. Before taking such action, try a hair and scalp treatment to stimulate hair growth and improve the appearance of thinning hair like Kerastase Specifique Traitement Intensif Anti-affinement (Treatment for Fine and Thinning Hair).”

MORE: 7 Fixes for Thinning Hair

5John Travolta

There’s no way to describe Travolta’s recent hairstyles as anything other than weird. Is that paint around the hairline? Are there tiny plugs giving it that length and volume? It’s hard to say but we really do miss the super floppy, natural locks of yore.  “Using a black or super dark brown colored spray or powder could be one of his tricks to give the illusion of thicker, textured hair. Products that both mimic and expand the hair fiber are great to camouflage what little hair is left without any adhesives or clip-ins. A pigmented dry shampoo or texture spray can do just the trick while adding a bit of texture and hold to a style, making haircuts with a bit more length more workable.” And don’t even get us started on this facial hair situation. Is it glued on shavings left over in the sink? Or perhaps he’s just imitating that 80s kids game where you could move hair around magnetically. Whatever it is, we hope it disappears stat.

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