A perfect summer fling can add a lot of excitement to the season’s fun. If you both know from the beginning the relationship is destined to end, you can make delicious sunny memories minus the emotional baggage that comes with a serious relationship. And then the lovely memories can fade along with your tan lines when you go back to real life. Here’s how to have an ideal brief summer romance.
A fling is a great stand-in for a real relationship. You don’t have to worry about showing up solo at outdoor concerts, beach jaunts and barbecues when you’ve found a summer fling. A flingee ideally is someone who’s ready for summer fun, but recognizes that you have a life outside the fling.
It’s a Chance Try Out a Different Relationship.
We’re drawn IRL to dating people who share our values, interests in things like politics, and tastes in books and movies. But a summer fling is not Real Life, and the relationship’s expected expiration date frees you from applying the same standards you’d use to gauge the potential for ever after.
Someone you’d normally never consider seriously dating may catch your eye, so go for it. A fling can be the perfect moment to try out something new. If you think you’d never be able to put up with this person for more than a couple of months, don’t fret. Think of summer as a free pass.
Avoid the Drama Upfront.
Before you embark on a fling, make sure you’re both on the same page regarding your expectations. Just because you don’t see a future with this person doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t. Have The Talk (“I’m not really interested in anything serious right now, are you?”) outlining terms of engagement honestly and early, by, say, the third date. Once you’ve reach agreement, you’ll be set up to avoid end-of-fling weirdness when September looms.
Good Boundaries Make Good Flings.
Your fling should be happy to go along to a friend-of-a-friend’s pool party, but she should understand that he doesn’t get an automatic invitation to your cousin’s wedding. He’s not going to spend a week with the family at your beach house, but he’s a great company at the baseball ] game.
You get to hang out with your own friends and make your own plans without rearranging most of your life to include your fling in everything. Boundaries are an integral part of the fling. It goes without saying that summer romance should be free of any of the baggage that can accompany real relationships.
How Does This End?
A relationship set to expire by a pre-determined date doesn’t always work out as planned. When summer is ending, you may be tempted to extend the relationship. Ask yourself if you are ready for a long-term commitment. Does he have what you’re looking for in a real boyfriend? You both need to decide together whether to redraw the summer contract.
If the two of you decide against moving the relationship forward, you’ll still come out of a fling better understanding what you’re looking for in a serious partner. If you spent the summer making your temporary romance a season of good times and fun, you’ll leave without any hurt feelings or end-of-fling weirdness.