The goal of tantric sex stems from the desire and ability to have more of a physical and spiritual connection to your partner. The essence of the practice is mindfulness. Being deeply aware of yourself, your partner, your life and the “sacred life force.” These tips can help you maximize your sexual experience and bring you to a deeper emotional level.
- Change your mind-set. Take responsibility for your own sexual satisfaction. Be open to discuss sex with your partner, and explore your own body so your partner can help you.
- Have fun challenges. Practice Kegel exercises during the day, or try locating your G-spot if you haven’t.
- Be softer. Slow things down. You don’t have to be in a rush to get to bed or finish up. Carve some time out to have a marathon lovemaking session. The final goal isn’t necessarily the orgasm, but the journey itself.
Play To Your Partner’s Strengths:
One way to increase intimacy is to lock eyes during sex, and hold the gaze. It increases oxytocin. Try to increase spontaneity by “meeting up for lunch,” or leaving the lights on.
Doing novel things with another person stimulates dopamine—the feel-good chemical that’s elevated when you’re in love. That’s why river rafting or sneaking into the supply closet make a fun first date or interaction. A man tends to find his partner more attractive during a daring date. Remember to make special new adventures more common, the longer you’re together.
Mix It Up:
Men reportedly have orgasms in 95 percent of sexual encounters, while women, only 69 percent. Women are more likely to have an orgasm by mixing it up among manual, oral and genital stimulation. Oral sex definitely increases a woman’s chance of having an orgasm.
Open The Fridge:
Food plays a vital role in our sexual desire. It can affect us because of the smell, the shape or because it alters your body chemistry to make you more desirable.
- Take advantage of pheromones and scents: The scents of lemons, doughnuts and licorice increase penile blood flow (just smell, don’t eat or it will slow the blood flow down). For women, it’s licorice and cucumbers. (The phallic shape subconsciously plays a large part in that.) Another good one to smell for: baby powder. It makes the female partner think of sex (the evolutionary goal), at least subconsciously.
- Strengthen sperm: If you want to reproduce, you should increase your intake of zinc, selenium, folic acid and Vitamins C and E. These have been found to increase sperm count. Most important is DHA-omega-3 fats, the active ingredient in fish oil that can be obtained in a more purified form from algae.
- Go back to that sauce: Chocolate has long been considered a love drug, because some of the ingredients have a feel-good effect. Caffeine may also have a positive effect on female libido.
Get Your Drive Back:
If you’ve lost some of your sex drive, try these tips for restoring libido:
- Ask yourself what happened in your relationship when you noticed sex changing. If you can identify your out-of-bed problem, it can lead to an in-bed solution.
- If you’re suffering from some vaginal pain, strengthening exercises (Kegels) can help, depending on the issue.
- Experiment with more oral sex, fantasies or watching each other in videos or in real life. Change things up.
- Get comfortable with yourself. Find what brings you joy. It could be learning to tell your partner that you like the shaft of your clitoris stimulated rather than the tip.
Keep It Pumping:
Good sex is about good blood flow, which ensures you’re getting good nutrients to your brain, and the right stimuli to your sex organs, too. So you can avoid things that decrease blood flow (nicotine, drugs, saturated fat, trans fats, sugar, diabetes, high BP) and go for the things that increase blood flow (exercise, avocado, fruits, veggies, 100 percent whole grains, ginseng, Ginkgo biloba, L-arginine, lemon, citrulline).