Why would you want to get married a second time after the trauma of going through a long, drawn-out divorce that’s left you emotionally bankrupt and financially strapped? If you’ve found the right man, the answer is easy. But how do you know that this time you’ve got the right guy? Ask yourself these questions and you won’t have a moment’s doubt.
Don’t get married if you really, really want it and he is at best lukewarm to the idea. He should be the partner who is pursuing the idea, and he has to be totally committed to the relationship and the marriage.
Do you see the same future?
This is the guy who will be there when you grow old. But where will you grow old together? Do you envision moving to Florida when he’s planning to stay rooted to the hometown where he grew up? Now’s the time to talk about it.
Is he kind?
Is he considerate and thoughtful about your feelings? Is he kind to other people? Does he treat you with the respect that you deserve?
Are the two of you are alike?
The more alike you are, the better chance your marriage will work. Do you share core values and interests? Do you like to do the same things? Do you enjoy spending time together? Do you see raising your kids the same way? Do you view world issues the same?
Do you trust him? Are you ready to hand over a share of the family finances to him? Do you trust him to make major household decisions? Do you trust his loyalty, and do you think he’s given up all other women for you? Do you think he’ll be there when the going gets tough?
Is he your best friend? Do the two of you enjoy each other? Are there things you’d rather not discuss with him? Can you take any problem to him?
Does he have a good relationship with his kids? There could be a problem lurking here if he doesn’t.
Can he show vulnerability? You love him, and you want to take care of him. The need to take care of each other is going to become more apparent as you grow older together. Will he let you? He should be open to showing vulnerability and being cherished by his wife.
How great is the sex?
Sex is a vital bond in making a marriage last. It’s a form of communication and closeness unlike any other. Problems in bed don’t just get in the way of having fun together. They may be a signal you are not on the same page, and you’ll need to be to make a marriage work.
Is he the world’s best kisser?
Need you even ask?
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