In my last column, I talked about how to be better at giving advice to others. Now, I would like to switch sides of the table and talk a bit about getting advice from others.
In the world of beauty, it can be hard to get advice. After all, whenever someone gives you advice, they are telling you (at least indirectly) that there is something about you that they suggest you change. That can feel threatening because we are often sensitive about the way we look.
So, the first thing you have to do when getting advice is to treat yourself with some compassion. The person who gives you advice is not attacking you at your core. Use their advice as a way to improve yourself rather than thinking of it as an indication that there is something deeply wrong with you. This idea seems simple, but in the moment it can be hard to do.
Second, when you get someone else’s advice, try to see it from their perspective. Research suggests that people often stick with their own opinion, even after getting advice. The reason for this is simple. You generally know a lot about why you are acting the way you do. You have your own reasoning and rationale. When someone gives you advice, it you might not see how their reasons could be any better or more valid than yours. So, in the end, you are prone to stick with what you are already doing.
To help you see the value of someone else’s advice, think about why they gave it to you. Remember that if they took the time to give advice, they want to find ways to help you improve. What might they see in you that would make that advice seem sensible to them? By understanding the reasons why someone else would have given you the advice they did, you become better able to integrate that advice into your life.
Third, try to get information from the people who are giving you advice about the best way to make a decision for yourself. You probably get advice from professionals. A hair stylist may suggest a new product. A salesperson at a clothing shop may recommend a new style. If you just select the product they recommend, it is hard to know what to do in the future. Take a little extra time and pick up some of their expertise. The more you find out about why this recommendation is a good one, the better you will be able to use that advice productively in the future.
Finally, it never hurts to get a second opinion. Everyone has their own perspective on problems, particularly when it comes to beauty and fashion. When you are thinking about a big change, get suggestions from a few different people so that you have a few good recommendations to choose from.
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