Nobody looks forward to getting older, but maybe we should! Did you know that the older we get, the happier we become1?
Although it may be disheartening to look different and feel less vigorous than you once did, take solace in the fact that your later years may be some of the happiest of your life; they just may not be what you expect them to be!
Research shows that young people associate happiness with excitement, while older people connect it with peacefulness2. This is the issue that many young people struggle with: they assume that happiness is excitement, when in fact it's only one way of experiencing it.
Indeed, just because older people don’t appear to have many thrills in their daily lives doesn't mean that they aren't happy.
Younger people have most of their lives ahead of them. Therefore, they tend to seek novelty and new ideas that will be useful in the future. For example, happy young people may find themselves socializing with lots of people, trying several sports or hobbies, or discovering new music each day. There's nothing wrong with excitement, but you may find that feelings of relaxation and serenity are a stronger and more stable foundation on which to be happy. Luckily, as we age, this shift in how we experience happiness occurs naturally.
Older people have a relatively limited period of time left in their lives. They seek comfort and satisfaction, so they invest in relationships that they already have. Rather than going out to nightclubs, older people generally prefer to spend time in intimate conversation and eating a quiet dinner with family because such activities bring them inner joy.
If you want to find happiness in feelings of peace and tranquility, you don't have to wait until your later years. Research shows that people instructed in a brief mindfulness meditation exercise associate happiness with peacefulness, regardless of how old they are2. Whether you are a young person seeking happiness through a more stable state of mind or an older person hoping to feel good through tranquility and peace, learning to focus your attention on the present moment is a promising avenue to do so.
Whenever you spend time with someone much older or younger than you, consider the differences in how each of you experiences happiness. Your idea of fun may not be the same as his or hers. Even if it may not be your ideal choice, find an activity that the other person will find enjoyable or, better yet, plan a day that has elements of both peacefulness and excitement. Perhaps begin with a leisurely stroll through a serene park, followed by some shopping in a bustling marketplace.
Aging is a sensitive issue for many people. However, rather than fighting the aging process, embrace it! It's silly to seek happiness in the same ways you did decades ago. Although the activities you did back then may have some nostalgic value, they are unlikely to make you as happy as they once did. Pay attention to what feels right for you now, not when you were a teenager. You'll be glad that you adapted your happiness-seeking strategies to match your age instead of resisting the inevitable progression of time.
Aging is completely natural and there's nothing wrong with it. Unfortunately, American women are socialized to believe that they are worthless unless they look and feel young. Don't believe this nonsense! Set a strong example for men and women alike by accepting your life as it is and being proud of your age; you'll be glad that you did.
1. Mroczek, D. K., & Spiro, A., III. (2005). Change in life satisfaction during adulthood: Findings from the Veterans Affairs Normative Aging Study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88, 189-202. 2. Mogilner, C., Kambar, S. D., Aaker, J. (2011). The shifting meaning of happiness. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2, 395-402.
See how your BMI and waist-to-hip ratio is affecting your beauty and health.
Highlight your eye color. Flaunt your body shape. Harness your confidence. Take our quizzes to better know yourself and get science-based, individualized advice to embrace your true beauty.
See how your BMI and waist-to-hip ratio is affecting your beauty and health.Take Quiz
Great sex does more than blow your mind—it's good for your heart, your head and your beauty.Take Quiz
Define your curves and discover the best ways to eat, exercise and dress for your figure.Take Quiz
If shopping for eye makeup is one big guessing game, find your best colors here.Take Quiz