If you’re having a hard time breaking things off, then it’s time to dig deep: “Ask yourself, ‘Why am I attracted to this person who is clearly giving out signals that they don’t want to be in a relationship?’” suggests Sussman. “’What is wrong with me that I’m willing to put up with behavior that, if a friend was going through it, would you say, ‘Don’t ever go out with a guy like that’?”
Allowing a plate spinner to have such sway and focus in your life is a sign of low self-esteem and a low sense of self-worth. “Maybe they don’t feel they’re worthy to have a good stable partner,” adds Sbarra. The plate spinner’s hot-and-cold conduct only serves as constant “proof” of a lack of worth. If you know you're the bomb (which you are), you would never put up with this crap.
Whether through some serious soul searching, or, better yet, with the help of a professional therapist, it’s important to get to the root of why you’d sell your wonderful self so short. Otherwise, you could get stuck in this damaging plate-spinning pattern rather than find the genuine, loving—and yes, sexy—partner you deserve.
Adds Sussman, “you’ve got to pull yourself back and stop making excuses for him and yourself—and move forward.” In other words, it’s time to leave this clown at the circus, and get on with your life.
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