If Facebook stokes envy and you cut back, Jantz recommends finding a substitute activity. You may feel worse for a while. “At the core will be the same fears and sense of lack that fuel feelings of envy on Facebook,” he says. “But being unplugged gives you an opportunity to observe these thoughts and feelings.” (Debra finally deleted her Facebook account, and is glad she did.)
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Online or off, minimizing the pain of envy requires self-acceptance. Leslie, a 50-year-old scientist who regrets not having children, often feels envious of mothers. Her boyfriend gave her this remedy, which works for her: Ask yourself, “If I could be that other person instead of myself, who would I pick?”
“Deep down I want to survive and be myself,” she says.
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