How to Be Lucky in Love

“People use technology to find the things that are important to them. So, it’s not surprising that a platform like this allows people to come together,” eHarmony Labs’ Senior Director of Research & Development, Dr. Gian Gonzaga points out.

Not sure how to begin? Another way to ensure luck is to start by creating a personal page that reflects who you are accurately. The more honest and nuanced your profile, “The more likely someone is going to be able to go ‘That’s the person I want!’” Dr. Gonzaga argues. People often make the mistake of misrepresenting themselves to seem more attractive to a wider audience, but tactics to make you look like a supermodel can backfire and even intimidate potential matches. “A lot of people think, ‘Oh, I want to attract a lot of people,’” Dr. Gonzaga has found. However, “You don’t want to be in a relationship with everybody, you want to be in a relationship with the right person.”

Another tactic Dr. Gonzaga encourages is gregarious behavior. “If you’re willing to be the one that reaches out, you’re more likely to be successful.” And that can be especially true for women online. The new crossing the bar to get the guy to notice you is messaging through an online profile— with the added bonus of privacy. No one else is there to watch you give it your best shot, win or lose. So don’t be shy about taking this chance to up your luck of finding someone.

MORE: Five Proven Tips for Dating Success

Sussman has also found another common mistake that can mess up your mojo is being too picky. “You want to be lucky at love? Keep an open mind. I don’t think you’re going to be so lucky in love if you have a 10-page list [of qualities you’re looking for in a mate],” she argues. Dr. Gonzaga recommends asking yourself one important question, “What are the things that I absolutely can’t stand?” But don’t get out a note pad to scrawl down your answer, this list should fit on a post-it. You can only have two or three non-negotiables; the rest, you want to be flexible on. “You can certainly make a case that any of these things are important, but anyone who has lived a little while can tell you, sometimes things don’t work out as you planned,” Della Porta adds. You want to leave some room for love to surprise you.

With matters of chance like love, timing is also an incredibly important factor. Sussman believes in serendipity, but there are more factors than just two people flirting. Did one of these people recently go through a breakup? Are they both looking for the same kind of relationship? “[If] they’re both looking for someone, they have attraction to each other, and they’re at the same place, that can be a potential relationship,” Sussman points out. But those important factors have to align beyond just a simple spark-filled introduction. “And then, people say it’s luck,” she jokes.

So, in order to tap into this “luck,” you have to at least bring your relationship preparedness, from self-love to an open heart. And in the meantime, while you’re out there looking, Sussman suggests, “Live a great life, but leave room for dating. And stay optimistic!” With a little luck, you might just meet a dreamboat like The Gos.

MORE: Four Ways to Improve Your Luck