How to Improve Your Relationship

Realistic ways to improve your relationship, from turning up the romance to paying a sincere compliment.

Wherever you may find yourself in your relationship, there are things you can do to keep up the energy, excitement and stability. Here are some tips for maximizing your body’s biology to strengthen your relationship.

Reinvent Your Relationship
Many couples slowly grow apart and have to reconnect. Why? A woman will often marry a man because she appreciates his potential. She then may try adjusting him to fulfill this potential. A man may marry a woman who is exactly what he wants, and then she may change.

Couples sometimes go in different directions after they get married. Thankfully, dopamine and oxytocin come into play to keep you together. But as levels wane after five to seven years, you need to constantly reinvent the marriage. People who have been married for 30 years really have four marriages. (Next time you’re not talking to each other, you can use this as an icebreaker!)

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Share Your Expectations
Depending on personality, your partner may not easily pick up on subtle cues. If this is the case, tell them what you’re feeling. It’s a lot safer to share your expectations rather than assuming they already know them.

QUIZ: How Do You Act in Relationships?

Do the Little Things
Sometimes we think relationships are made or broken by grand gestures and big fights. But we can strengthen our relationships with more attention to the details (which prevent big problems from surfacing).

• Do something positive each day to “deposit” a good feeling into the relationship. A note on a napkin, kiss on the cheek, helping hand on a home project. (If you feel good about yourself, that’s a great gift to someone you love, FYI.)
• Make a date. Share meals when possible. Take a walk, hold hands, or just sit on the couch and catch up.
• Compliment daily. It’ll keep you from taking each other for granted. And it doesn’t take much time!
• Reflect. Remember how your spouse was when you first met. Focus on the characteristics that first attracted you two.

Negotiate
Any rules or policies between partners may be negotiable, as long as no one is harmed. This includes everything from parental discipline, to talks about vacations and finances. P.S. Vacations help you retain vitality and passion. Compromise on larger issues, or agree to take turns taking the lead on big decisions.