The Surprising Secret to Hotter Sex

4. Employ your five senses.

When you taste a gooey dessert, smell an intoxicating fragrance or soak in a steaming bath, you use several, if not all, of your five basic senses (smell, taste, sight, sound and touch) to enjoy the experience. So why neglect them during sex—especially when you need them the most? “Tuning into your senses allows you to stay present and connected because sex becomes an intimate, full-body event, rather than a performance,” says Gina Ogden, Ph.D., author of “The Return of Desire: A Guide to Rediscovering Your Sexual Passion.” So take your pick: Inhale his scent emanating from the crook of his neck, gaze into his eyes or concentrate on how your bodies feel against each other.

MORE: The Beautiful Benefits of Touch

5. Speak up.

“When a position or move isn’t working for you, communicate your thoughts, otherwise they just scream louder in your head,” says Sadie Allison, a sex therapist in San Francisco, CA. “The result is a distracted state of mind because you’re sucking up your feelings, which can ruin the whole sexual experience.”

Try saying something positive and constructive like, ‘Can you do that thing you were doing before?’ to get your point heard—and your pleasure back on track.

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