Lehmiller also suggests finding a partner with a similar “attachment style” to yours; the technical term psychologists use to describe how someone forms and behaves in relationships. Some people are on the “extreme end” and want to be with their partner all the time, needing almost no space, he says. Others are much more independent. Research indicates that partners with the same or similar attachment needs tend to have more successful relationships than those partners with opposite styles.
If you’re on the other side of the problem (you’re the person that doesn’t need as much separation), make sure to be open-minded about your partner’s plea for space. A 2004 study found that people craving more alone time from their significant others had low levels of satisfaction, passion and commitment.
Upon returning to the States, my husband and I did just that. We both caved and admitted to needing some time to ourselves. I headed out for a girls weekend. He spent some quality time with his PlayStation. When we reconnected, we talked for hours.
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