This topic contains 8 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  jenniferjohnson 1 year, 6 months ago.

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    My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for the past 4 months of our relationship and we both really enjoy the sex we have, but I don’t think I have had an orgasm in that time. 
    My boyfriend always wants me to come before he does when we go at it, but he thinks that if he feels me tighten up down there, he’s made me orgasm. The thing is though, when it happens, I don’t really feel that different and I am not so sure it’s an orgasm. 
    Don’t get me wrong, I really do enjoy having sex with him and I often find myself being very enthusiastic and excited almost everytime we go at it, I just feel bad because my boyfriend thinks I am coming when I don’t think I am.
    I’ve tried playing with my breasts, clit and vag and given him the best tips I can, but I still don’t think it’s happened yet. I’m getting really nervous and after every episode I feel worse and worse. How do I tell him, or what else can I do to find out what makes me tick?


    I’ve had the same problem, & it’s always difficult trying to tell a guy.. I’m always afraid of them taking it personally, when it reality it’s neither his fault or mine. All I can tell you is you’re not the only girl , some girls/women just take more to.. you know.. lol. it’s completely natural, the hard part is that its not natural for guys to be aware of this.  you shouldn’t feel bad about it, even tho it’s hard not to… I myself just fake it , but when something feels good, or like its getting close, just encourage whatever he’s doing so he knows thats what helps, & you can get enjoyment out of it too.

    I think relaxing & trying to worry less about orgasming will actually help you too.. instead of thinking about it, just let yourself enjoy it


    I’ve had the same problem with every sexual partner that I’ve had. The best advice I can give is to be honest and DO NOT fake them! Because then he’ll think if he does that you will achieve one almost everytime. If you need to, talk to him after sex about how it’s difficult for you to have an orgasm. Of course tell him it’s not him, you just need more time and experimentation to get there. Putting it this way makes it out to be a challenge and a fun game for him. Perhaps introduce some new things like toys where he can use them to help you get there. If he really cares for you it won’t matter if he’s making you orgasm using just himself or some extra help. And you never know, once you get to that point you may be able to find another way to achieve the big O with just him and no extras. 🙂 Good luck!



    Well, as long as u r enjoying make love with him and u r not far to reach the “top mountain’ – the climax. May be u should try different position while u enjoy and will hope u more relaxed to be urself. The more u be ur self the easier u’ll reach the point. I found mine when i’m on the top of my husband. Good luck girl, don’t worry and u’ll getting there:)



    you need to masturbate until you do have an orgasm, know how to get there and what it feels like. you cannot help your lover give you an orgasm until you how and what to do to get one. how is your lover supposed to know the magic combination that will make you come when you don’t??? I am sure he want you to have an orgasm and enjoy love making not fake it but you need to do your part. I cannot believe how many women fake it or tell others to fake it!!! love making with your partner is supposed to be for intimacy, how can lying to your partner about coming promote intimacy?? 



    We are all responsible for our own orgasms and no one else should be expected to know how to get us off if we don’t know ourselves.  Be honest about what you need to get off.  If you don’t know what you need, then realize guys don’t just know either.  We’re all different and it takes your own discovery through masturbation to know what you like and what you need.  Once you’ve played around to find out what you like and can make yourself ***, do it again!  Practice some more and often, then show him for the real fun to begin!  


    I agree with the advice to masterbate until you KNOW what your orgasm feels like — believe me when you have one, you know it.   Lots of jokes are made about vibrators but they definitely work.  Orgasm is a natural part of intercourse and your genitals are designed for it but it isn’t unusual to have a problem reaching a climax, especially when you first become sexually active or with a new partner.   Sometimes being able to relax and trust the other person is all you need, so don’t lie about it or fake orgasms, either — no point feeling guilty, on top of feeling frustrated!



    First of all, men and women are not the same. Women have an enormous capacity for sexual pleasure, but few relationships tap into this potential. The biggest barrier is often that the woman doesn’t find out what she needs her boyfriend to do to maximize her sexual satisfaction and fails to ask her boyfriend to do it. Fortunately, all the information that you need is readily available on the Internet.

    To improve your relationship, both you and your boyfriend should work together as a team toward the common goal of increasing your sexual satisfaction. You should communicate as much as possible and indicate what is working for you and what is not. Don’t worry; men get enormous pleasure from this. The main source of pleasure for a woman should be direct enjoyment; the main source of pleasure for a man should be giving a woman the most pleasure possible.

    You need to get your boyfriend to do things that will give you greater pleasure and stronger orgasms. Have him give you back rubs. Have him give you G-spot orgasms (also known as whole body orgasms, vaginal orgasms or squirting orgasms). There are instructions for doing this on the Internet. Have him go down on you. Again, there are instructions on the Internet. In both of these cases, you need to keep trying until you get absolutely fantastic orgasms. Also, have him put his tongue deep inside your anus and push it in and out for ten minutes or more each day. Most women really like this.

    If your boyfriend won’t do these things, find someone who will.



    My husband had premature ejaculation and he couldn’t last longer than a minute in bed. He was very embarrassed about it. But finally, he can last in bed up to 20 minutes. Our marriage became better than ever. He doesn’t want to talk about how he solved his problem, but he only told me that he found very useful information at Good luck guys !

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