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Hey YouBeauties, Ask us your most pressing relationship questions. Our Relationship expert, David Sbarra, Ph.D., will answer some of them in his next column for YouBeauty. Remember: This is a no-embarrassment zone! Trouble in the bedroom, fighting too often, or ex-partner worries-nothing is off limits. Post below.

 
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Hi There,

Here is my question: My husband and I have been (happily) married for quite awhile, but when we do argue, it seems to be about his mother. She’s been a trouble spot in our relationship since we’ve dated because she trys to be controlling over her youngest son. If he does speak his mind to her, she gets very upset and won’t speak to him or will be very mean to us for months–so it’s not worth the trouble. Do you have any advice for dealing with in-laws? Thank you! 

 
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So i’ve recently finished school and I am in a very transitionary state in my life right now. My boyfriend is still in school and lives with friends and behaves like a college student. I’d like to think that i’ve “grown up” to behave like an adult with larger responsibilities. We don’t live very far from each other but the only time we see or talk to each is on weekends. When we do see each other I’d rather focus on quality time together and just be together rather than focus on sex. He, on the other hand feels quite the opposite. I find myself less interested in sex and it’s harder for me to be in the mood because I usually get easily frustrated with his lifestyle (lazy, college, video-game-playing, boy) and then I don’t usually enjoy my time with him. I don’t want to drift apart just because we have different lifestyles, but I find that’s the direction i’m heading. Is there anything you can suggest, for me so that I can just focus on the relationship and what that entails rather than the lifestyle?

 
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I have been seeing my boyfriend for about a eight months now. He has all the check boxes – smart, attractive, good job and a home, however he is fiercely independent. He is 43, I am 33. I tend to believe that some of this fierce independence is why he has never been married or had many serious relationships.

I, on the other hand, tend to be somewhat insecure in (relatively) new relationships. This is something that I am aware of and have been doing some work on myself to improve this. With that being said, I don’t feel that I am at all unreasonable and do my best to allow for a healthy amount of space for my boyfriend to pursue activities and friendships outside of our relationship.

On occasion, however, I do find myself asking him where he’s been, who he’s been with, which is always interpreted by him that I don’t trust him. In the past, there have been some occasions where he has been evasive when those questions are asked. I don’t believe that it is because he was doing anything wrong, but rather that he felt like he was being checked up on. He always does end up answering my questions, but not without a fight. I think he feels like somehow his independence is being threatened if he surrenders to answering me. I’ve tried explaining to him that this sort of reaction actually just perpetuates my insecurity about our relationship, and while I think he’s trying to improve how he reacts to these situations, I don’t think he truly understands how his reactions affect my perception and therefore doesn’t see the value in it.

I guess my question is how do we get to some middle ground? I have committed to him to being more cognizant of “checking up on him”, however, how can I get him to understand that it’s going to take time, and that we’re not going to get there if he’s not going to work with me? How do I make him understand that wondering where he is or what he is doing is in no way an attempt to “control” him?

 
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My bf and I have been together almost 8 months (4 months long distance and 4 months cohabitating). He complains how much more often the sex was while I was away at school and the fact that I initiated a lot. Ever since I started living with him, there has been a noticeable drop in sex. I’ve told him several reasons for that (arguments, sleepy, want it at different times of the day, maybe he needs to workout, too routine) but honestly I think I may not be as sexually

 
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My bf and I have been together almost 8 months (4 months long distance and 4 months cohabitating). He complains how much more often the sex was while I was away at school and the fact that I initiated a lot. Ever since I started living with him, there has been a noticeable drop in sex. I’ve told him several reasons for that (arguments, new BC pill, sleepy, want it at different times of the day, maybe he needs to workout, too routine) but honestly I think I may not be as sexually attracted to him as I once was. I think hes the most handsome man ive been with and I want to marry him one day. I’ve been in relationships where I could bypass the aforementioned reasons and satisfy my partner’s needs so my question is it possible to be in a relationship where sex is your only i

 
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My bf and I have been together almost 8 months (4 months long distance and 4 months cohabitating). He complains how much more often the sex was while I was away at school and the fact that I initiated a lot. Ever since I started living with him, there has been a noticeable drop in sex. I’ve told him several reasons for that (arguments, new BC pill, sleepy, want it at different times of the day, maybe he needs to workout, too routine) but honestly I think I may not be as sexually attracted to him as I once was. I think hes the most handsome man ive been with and I want to marry him one day. I’ve been in relationships where I could bypass the aforementioned reasons and satisfy my partner’s needs so my question is it possible to be in a long-term healthy relationship where sex is your only i

 
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My bf and I have been together almost 8 months (4 months long distance and 4 months cohabitating). He complains how much more often the sex was while I was away at school and the fact that I initiated a lot. Ever since I started living with him, there has been a noticeable drop in sex. I’ve told him several reasons for that (arguments, new BC pill, sleepy, want it at different times of the day, maybe he needs to workout, too routine) but honestly I think I may not be as sexually attracted to him as I once was. I think hes the most handsome man ive been with and I want to marry him one day. I’ve been in relationships where I could bypass the aforementioned reasons and satisfy my partner’s needs so my question is it possible to be in a long-term healthy relationship where sex is your only i

 
Member

My bf and I have been together almost 8 months (4 months long distance and 4 months cohabitating). He complains how much more often the sex was while I was away at school and the fact that I initiated a lot. Ever since I started living with him, there has been a noticeable drop in sex. We went from 2-3 times a day in the weekends he would visit to once in to once in 2-3 weeks. I’ve told him several reasons for that (arguments, new BC pill, sleepy, want it at different times of the day, maybe he needs to workout, too routine) but honestly I think I may not be as sexually attracted to him as I once was. I think he’s the most handsome, sweetest, loving man I’ve been with and I want to possibly marry him one day. I’ve been in relationships where I could bypass the aforementioned reasons and satisfy my partner’s needs so my question is: Is it possible to be in a long-term healthy relationship where sex is your only issue? He values sex a lot and wouldn’t be happy in a low-sex marriage. What can I do to make him happy again? How often a week is normal to have sex? Should I just let him have it even if I’m not in the mood (his suggestion)?

 
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My queestion: being in  a multicultural marriage I don’t have a problem per sec with the relationship. As I can’t have children, he needs to take another wife. In Islam this is allowed. However, my question is how do you get around the jealousy issue, despite the fact we have spoken about the issue openly and that I truly do understand the need for children for his family.  As he is the only boy   this is even more crucial than would be normal.

 
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I met up with a guy that I hadn’t seen in 5 years. We hit it off great, stayed out until 3am. He knew, and even talked about, that I have 10 weeks left of school so the next day I was moving 6 hours away. I left, with no expectations. HE texted me the next day and we started talking on a consistent basis. I went home to visit for a weekend and we went out twice. We started texting or talking o the phone every day. I let him be the one to lead…he told me he missed me first, he brought up being in an LDR, and everything was going great. We talked every day for a month…then we a couple of days that were rough… I had had horrible days at school/work, and he found out he might be losing his job. He eventually called me and said he couldn’t handle the long distance. He was not at the same emotional level I was and couldn’t be in a serious relationship with this distance. He even mentioned that he wasn’t sure if he was ready for serious right now, and said “it just isn’t the right time for us to be involved romantically” We talked for a while and HE ended up saying that we just need to take some time, then when it is closer to me being home, see what happens. I am a wee bit of a cynic when it comes to relationships. So I immediately go to the negative i.e. “he just doesn’t want a serious relationship with ME…he’s lying….”etc So i wanted outside opinions!

 
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Is it normal for me to have not been sexually active since 2009, as a woman, like, in her mid-20’s? Isn’t this supposed to be the most fruitful time in my life?

Regards.

 
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hi i like this guy i feel like he is a good 1 and i dont know what to do because im shy and i have issues with rejection and i have body issues and i have a broken heart from my last relationship and i just keep making excuses, he wanted me before, but i keep pushing him away do you think he still likes me am i fooling myself.

 
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hi i like this guy i feel like he is a good 1 and i dont know what to do because im shy and i have issues with rejection and i have body issues and i have a broken heart from my last relationship and i just keep making excuses, he wanted me before, but i keep pushing him away do you think he still likes me am i fooling myself.


by:lilies56

 
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well just go up and talk to him and say I like you can we exchange numbers. and than we can go out on a date and see when it is convient for you and him. and just keep your mind open.if that don’t work there is always another will come along. always think positive about yourself not negitive.

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