How do I deal with this?

(5 replies)

by reedsgirl

9 months ago

Viewed 412 times

My boyfriend and I have been living together for 2 yrs, and when I moved in I knew that there was a female roommate. Well after 6 months or so I find out that they had dated at some point. I don't know any of the detail or care to either. I could tell that she had feelings for him but I dismissed it . Now 2 yrs later she is still living with us. He avoids her most of the time you can tell that he can't stand her, but he lets her live with us because she can't afford a place on her own and he feels obligated to help her out because she had helped him for a number of years. Anyway she wanted to talk to him tonight about something and I asked her not to because he had a very long day and was very tired. But she went behind my back and went and talked to him about it anyway. She keeps doing that all the time. I just don't know what I should do about the whole situation. Help someone please.

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LNs Girl replied 8 months ago:

Ask yourself, "Will I be better off with him (in this situation) or will I be better off on my own?" After 2 years, he apparently isn't going to ask her to leave. Also, it doesn't sould much like he wants a permanent relationship. Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I do believe in marriage.

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Huskeret replied 7 months ago:

I wouldn't be suprised at all if he's cheating with her when you're not around, even if he acts like he can't stand her when you're there.

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Huskeret replied 7 months ago:

I wouldn't be suprised at all if he's cheating with her when you're not around, even if he acts like he can't stand her when you're there.

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AlaskaFound replied 7 months ago:

Your boyfriend shouldn't feel obligated to help her. If she can not respect you and your boundaries, she has got to go. If your boyfriend feels like he should help her, find her another place to live that's cheap, show it to her, give her enough money for the first month's rent, and kick her out. If she doesn't already pay her share of rent at your place, she is not intitled to live with you.

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reedsgirl replied 7 months ago:

Thank you AlaskaFound. I have gotten to the point now where I'm making her give me money monthly for what she thinks is rent. I'm actually putting the money in a account for her to be able to move out. I haven't decided how much time I'm giving her yet, but now I have the upper hand in the situation and I feel much better about it.

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