I am more interested in sex than my fiance...any advice?

(5 replies)

by Kyri

9 months ago

Viewed 1089 times

My fiance was the first person for me to have sex with. I was his second.

He says that when we have sex as often as I like, he feels like it isn't very special..he wants it unpredictable. It has gotten to the point where he is rejecting me and I don't know what to do..I feel like it is me...Am I no longer sexually attractive to him? Does he just have a low sex drive?

My ideal sex life would be about 5-8 times a week where he is more of a 1-3 times a week

Help me out..is it me or him? Are we compatable? Is there anything I can do to drop my sex drive?

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Kyri replied 9 months ago:

get help? I don't have a mental problem here. That isn't much of any good advice. Maybe something more helpful would be better...

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DagnyT replied 9 months ago:

Someone said you have mental problem???? That a whole "nother" topic involving ignorance and stigmatism. wow. So, you are engaged and have different sex drives......this is very common. You have to talk with eachother. Let him know how much you enjoy making love with him, how special he is, etc. You are young, healthy, in love, and (I'm assuming) monogamous, which is great - but it takes a bit of time to be really sexually compatible. Find out what he likes, tell him what you like, read some books or articles on sex, explore eachother's bodies for awhile before intercourse, laugh together, and relax with it. You are both "new" to the world of sexual relationships and have the joy of discovering your way together. Find out if he has any hang-ups (preconceptions) about women, especially about how women "should" act sexually. Does he feel pressure from you to "always" perform? There is no normal. Truly, humans have a wide variety of behavior when it comes to sex. TALK with him, especially before you get married. :-) I hope this helps. Best wishes to both of you! P.S. Your drive will most likely get stronger as you get older......your 40's will be amazing!

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editorAmanda replied 9 months ago:

Hi, Kyri.

You're not alone. A lot of women wrestle with wanting more sex than their partners do. In fact, our Relationship Expert, Dr. David Sbarra, recently wrote two columns on the subject. Check them out:

http://www.youbeauty.com/relationships/columns/the-relationship-scientist/think-less-for-more-sex

and

http://www.youbeauty.com/relationships/columns/the-relationship-scientist/the-youbeauty-relationship-qa

Hope these help!

-amanda

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girlyone replied 8 months ago:

no i dont think its u kyri, some of us girls do want it more than what were getting as i do to. i kinda have a similar prob, as i seem i cant get enuff sex and my bf is very good and we do it at least 5 times a week. id talk with him if i was u and ask if he likes sex with u, and that ud like to have it more than 3 times a week

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angiiemm replied about 1 month ago:

you have that much sex a week !!! I have it 2x a month! and i'm engaged as well. Some other girl who commenting on mine has it worst than I do!! I didn't realize how many of us were going through this till I started reading and posting posts on here. It SUX and it's super frusterating. :/ don't know what to do either. I've already addressed the issue in any possible way. FUUUUUCK!!!!!

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