Should i be mad, or straight forward, or just be happy? (Sorry really long)

(4 replies)

by tunajr

8 months ago

Viewed 531 times

My best guy friend and i have known each other for years now, and we knoweach other pretty well. We've talked everyday for the past 6 months, and we have quite a history. We somewhat dated once, then 4 years later dated for a month, and now months later we're back as being friends but much closer now. We know we like each other, but I'm so confused!

Homecoming is coming up and i thought i was the only one he was thinking of asking. We've been writing notes to each other and he's excellent at poetry, and he writes such sweet poems that i know are about me. Anyway, my friend asked him if he was planning on asking me to HC. Nope, he actually had 4 other options besides me, although he "narrowed it down" to me as 1st and some other girl as 2nd. I know we're not dating, but i was so enraged!

He does not know i know this information, neither had i talked to him that night. All next day he ignores me and this other girl that likes him hanging on his arm all day. He claims he never saw me when i know for a fact he walked by me several times that day w/o a word, where we would talk between every class. He said "if your mad your mad, but i really didn't see you.. etc. and thats that" so i tell him sorry for overreacting and he goes, bout time. So i reply to him (in summary) "I don't know if you've realized, but i really do like you (i told him severaly times beofre that i hadn't liked him, up until a month ago i finally accepted that i did) and i know i saw you walk by me w/o a word. and you always talk about how you have these other girls (gave some instances) do you really think i care? and that girl was hanging on your arm all day, so yeah i was a little ******, i'm a girl. i get jealous. and i only said sorry to not fight with you again and you reply like a rude ***."

no response that night and the next day he comes to my locker like he susually would. He was trying to act normal, and so i did too. Was that the right thing to do? its been a couple days now and we're acting fine but i still hadn't confronted him about him thinking of other girsl to ask- the original reason for me being angry. Was he talking to me a lot again to prove to me he was sorry?

I apologize if this doesn't even make sense but i really, really like this guy and i have since i've met him. He hasn't asked anyone to the dance yet and I'm worried it wont be me. He brags about all this stuff he has done (nothing like drinking or smoking), even though we all know he's like an Oreo. (black/white..) and i FAIL to understand why he does this.

Feel free to ask questions. I don't know what to do anymore and i'm sick of being stuck in this realtionship limbo.

Thank you.

Post A Reply

Kyri replied 8 months ago:

I think you just need to confront him and ask why he hasn't said anything to you.

He may feel awkward...maybe he wanted to be the one to say something or he just isn't ready for anything serious right now.

Tell him you put yourself out there and it isn't fair to be ignored. Even if this makes him uncomfortable, you need to keep telling him how you feel.

You have liked him for a long time and he will eventually lose you if he doesn't take your feelings seriously.

Quote Flag for abuse
tunajr replied 8 months ago:

I admit i was a little worked up when i wrote this. But now I'm kind of on the other end of tthe spectrum.

He's a deep thinker and tends to keep to himself most of the time. If you want him to open up, you kind of have to pry it out of him sometimes. Or just wait. Which is what i did because I wanted to just straight up ask him what he was thinking of doing about the dance and everything, but I just didn't know how. So about the day after i wrote that, i just accepted that i would have to try and get over him again.

Then today, just to summarize, he hinted about a part of the text i sent that i mentioned above- i said like, i thought we could try and be more than friends again but apparently not. So i mean obviously it's a good thing, and i know anyone would just say yes, and i know it sounds odd but i just want a little time to think about it.... i'm just scared a bit.

And thank you, you make good points. i completely agree with what you said. I can say almost positively that we have strong feelings for each other, but it's just my trust in him that i need to build up more.

Quote Flag for abuse
MumKat replied 7 months ago:

I am seeing that he likes you too from what you have written, but he probably is attracted to others, with you and him dating before and then off dating, he probably is taking the time to find himself and to see what he wants, it is normal for a guy to like many girls at once and vice versa, they have to spend some time trying to get to know the girl to see if they have that connection. If he doesn't ask you to the prom and asks another girl, just smile and say "hey, do you think we could all go to the prom together?" Maybe he will except that, but then again maybe he just needs time to see if he wants to settle with another girl or if he wants to take things further with you. Guys think differently, they really don't date the way us women do, his goals are different, maybe next time you sit with him and talk ask him what his goals for the future are and ask him how he feels about you and if he needs time to see what type of girl he wants for the future, you will be surprised at his response.

Quote Flag for abuse
tunajr replied 7 months ago:

Yeah over the weekend i went to visit him and we talked for atleast an hour and a half. We figured everything out, basically told each other everything, and we're all good :) best friends again :) don't know if we'll ever try dating again. Guess we'll just kind of have to wait and see. I think we like each other but i think we'll just stay how we are for now cuz we're both really happy, and i don't wanna mess that up again.

thanks, I really appreciate your response!

Quote Flag for abuse