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embarrassed often

6 replies

over 3 years ago

I find myself constantly embarrassed lately of so many things. Embarrassed that I don't have as much money as my friends, embarrassed that I'm not as good of a golfer as my friends, embarrassed that I'm very, very thin... etc. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these feelings? It's stopping me from doing things now and that's a bad place to be in life. thanks
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  • User_4022
    over 3 years ago
    I can imagine it feels pretty unsettling to feel this way, puttersmom, but I've found that as I've gotten older, so many of these old concerns lose their importance. There will always be people who are better golfers, weigh a little more, and have more money, but everything in life is so relative. Try to resist the urge to compare yourself with your friends as much as you can, becoming more conscious of these feelings as you notice them arise. At some point during your day, mentally tally up all your assets and strong points and features, and then, remember to stay mindful of them. You'll find yourself feeling better and better about yourself if you make this a regular practice. It sounds to me like you're overly critical of yourself and need to acknowledge your positive traits more.
  • User_8
    over 3 years ago
    If you find yourself holding back from going out to dinner with your friends or joining them for a round of golf because you feel embarrassed, try powering through it by reminding yourself what you have to offer them. You offer great things to your friends (they're friends with you for a reason!) so focus on what makes you special instead. And if money is holding you back, suggest free activities like a walk in the park--everyone loves an invite.
  • Avatar
    over 3 years ago
    It's not about getting what you want, It's about wanting what you've got........ I think Cheryl Crow sang something like that!
  • Art
    Art Markman, Ph.D. Psychology Advisor
    over 3 years ago
    It sounds like you naturally compare yourself to other people and then use that comparison to affect your sense of self. That is a common thing for people to do, but it can cause problems when you focus on the ways that you don't measure up to your friends. There are two easy things you can do to help yourself break out of this cycle. First, spend a little time at home writing about the things that make you feel good about yourself. Just focus on you and not how you compare to friends and family. Do this a few times over a period of a couple of weeks. This is a great way to remind yourself of the things that make you special. Second, remember that your friends want to spend time with you because they are your friends. If they really cared about differences in amount of money, golfing ability, or body shape, they wouldn't be your friends. Instead, they care about you as a person. Hold onto that thought when you start to worry about the ways you feel you don't measure up to your friends.
  • Avatar
    over 3 years ago
    Please try to remember that your real friends and most sensible people are going to ultimately like you for your pesonality. When i was in college i grew to be attracted to some women who were slightly overwieght and not very popular, but they were nice people and fun to be around. I couldn't care less of what they look like. Try to reach down inside and locate what you have to offer. I will be praying for you about this.
  • User_119091
    over 3 years ago
    you could start a journal and write about how these embaraasements make you feel, and you can instaed of comparing yourself to others in way that makes you feel emabbaressed, compare ina way as to you god things more than them. for example, your friends may not hav a dad and you can tell yourself how lucky you are to have one.
  • Avatar
    over 2 years ago

    I think you should focus on all the good things you have to offer others.  Don't be so hard 

    n yourself.  we all go through times of feeling we don't have qs much as others we know but

    they care about and love you for yourself, not for how much money you have or the

    material things.  my sister and friends go out to eat at least 3-4 times a year and we just make a date and go.  If one of us is short on money, the others chip in.  We are all equal and a girls

    night out is good relacxation.

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