editorNadia replied over 1 year ago:
At the moment, your measurements and BMI are healthy, but your eating habits aren't. If you're exercising 9 hours/week, then you need to eat at least three full meals each day to sustain that level of activity. Your body needs energy even when you're not moving, so if you're not eating enough nutrients, your body will find other ways to get them--from your muscles or fat tissue, for example. That can eventually lead to very serious consequences. If you're concerned that you might have an eating disorder, bring it up with your primary care doctor or gynecologist so you can get an accurate diagnosis (especially if you've been missing your period, which is typically a tell-tale sign that eating restriction has gotten out of hand). This might seem counterintuitive, but if you eat three 600-calorie meals each day with some small fruit or nut snacks in between, maintaining a healthy weight will be much easier because you'll have a stronger metabolism. But my biggest concern is the thoughts you're having while eating (that it makes you feel guilty and fat). I totally get that (I've been there), but when you learn to respect your body, you will be so much better able to care for it. You deserve to feel at home and at peace with your body. We live in a culture that puts so much pressure on women to be skinny that it's easy to become overly vigilant about exercise and eating habits. That worry can keep you from feeling confident or focusing on other areas of your life (like relationships or career) that might truly bring you joy. Guilt about food can be triggered by a lot of complex emotions, so it's best to talk to a professional (like a doctor or therapist) to get to the root of what you're feeling and why. I can tell you from experience that addressing this now before it becomes more severe and learning to love your body will improve your wellbeing, health and happiness all across the board.