fleurdaisy replied 10 months ago:
I think we’re living parallel lives! I’m in a very similar situation with a man I’ve been dating for over 3 years. We live about 70 miles apart so that explains some of the problem but in reality, he is much like your significant other. Calls when he gets around to it. Usually answers but not always. He usually manages to visit once every couple of weeks. Under normal circumstances I would think he was cheating, but quite frankly, this seems to be just the way he is. Like he doesn’t really need anyone. I can’t say for sure but I know that some people are like that. I’m like that to a certain extent which explains why I’ve put up with it for so long.
I don’t really have the wisdom to advise you on what to do about your guy but I did finally realize that this was not the relationship I wanted to be in. Those bi-weekly visits started to feel like “booty-calls” and that did nothing for my self-esteem. Plus, I was spending way too much time on my own to be “dating” someone. What’s the point of a relationship if they aren’t there are at least communicative? People in good relationships share the good and the bad, they experience things together, they comfort each other, and they have fun together. We didn’t spend enough time together to qualify for even a mediocre relationship.
I recently pulled the plug on this “faux romance”. It wasn’t just that I felt like a mere convenience for him, it was that we are entirely different when it came to what we needed out of a relationship. Yes, it was hard to do but I’d rather be open to other things in my life, even alone, than deal with his hands-off relationship style. I think you should give it some thought and decide what YOU want and if he can’t or won’t give that to you, it may be time to consider moving on. I hope things work out for you. I know I’m happier and less anxious these days.