by ThinkLikeWater
10 months ago
Viewed 2063 times
Were both very much in love and he shows me more kindness than anyone has. We talk everyday. I worry sometimes about the possibilities that he could be cheating on me because I know less about what he does daily than a relationship that is local. We talk about each others days, concerns, etc. and I have faith that he won't cheat. But, I'm wondering if this relationship is a lost cause because he lives a few states away and we can't see each other much.
I believe it depends on what your relationship was prior to your long-distance relationship. Were you good friends, or did you not know each other for very long? My husband and I were in a long-distance relationship for 9 months before we moved in together. I lived in Maine, and he lived in New York. However, before we started dating, we attended the same college in Upstate New York and were really great friends for those four years. I kept trying to his attention - but even though he valued me as a great friend, he never "liked" me that way. It wasn't until we graduated and I went home to Maine that he realized he loved me, and he asked me to come and visit him in New York for a family friend's wedding.
And we all know that you don't invite your platonic opposite-sex friend to a wedding 
A few days after I went home from said wedding, he called me up and asked me out. We dated for only 4 months before he proposed in a swank hotel room in Boston. We were still in our long distance relationaship for another 5 months (but now engaged!) before I moved to New York and we started living in our first apartment. We were married about 1 year later.
Our long distance relationship worked because we all ready knew each other's personalities. We saw each other every day for 4 years before we even started dating, so while it was painful to stay apart for a few months at a time, we made sure to make our time together memorable. Once every few months we spent a couple days in Boston. We splurged on a nice hotel room and went out for a romantic dinner. I spent days planning what I was going to wear so that I looked perfect.
Because our friendship was so strong prior to our romantic relationship, the long distance worked. It was difficult, for sure, but I'm glad I stuck with it.
I don't think long distance relationship will work out because you never know what you getting yourself into, he might be cheating and you never think twice about how it going to last. I been with this guy for almost 3years we has good relationship until this year he told me that he has done s omething really bad and he want us to work it out, I don't think it would because he been a DOG!!!! so i figure that need to pack his stuff that he gave me during in relationship when we was together to gave back to him to make him look bad or sad. I got a letter in a mail one day from him which i though it was from him it wasn't it a woman that she send to me, and said i needs to stop writing ,text or calling him so now he never did told me to stop any those things. she told me also will be getting married less then 3 weeks so here i'm trying to move on.
I met my man through my past company I worked at. Well when been together now for 8yrs and it has not been easy but it understanding. See I understood when I decided to presue this relationship it was long distance. At the time I was still getting over a 10yr relationship. I only been broken up with that person for about a year. I had a toddler that was busy and a career I was just starting to jump start. So the distance was needed for me to focus on my, the child, and my career. Now 8yrs later I saying I am ready for closure relationship. Well that maybe doable if we can figure somethings out. I know for sure the way we make this work is by having open honest communication. I don't hide anything and neither does he. We try to be understand at all times and patient. I sometimes find it hard being alone all the time but I do things to pass the time away. I miss dating, but the great part is I have friends I can spend time with. I pray each day and be thankful for his love. Now do get me wrong it isn't easy task each day, I have desired to cheat. But will not because I understand what I have and honestly the grass isn't greener on the other side. The AWESOME, POWERFUL, AMAZING Qualities this man of mine has makes me keep a clear head on the prize.
Long distance relationships can be compared to a long term goal. You know you want to be a doctor but you don't see immediate results. There is a lot of hardwork between you and your doctorate. That degree seems so close but so far away. Same is to be said about LDR's (long distance relationships)...if you truly respect the relationship and put in the work the payout can be great.
Make sure if you intend on going forward with this LDR you make all your fears and expectations known. Never assume that the other person knows what you would consider unacceptable. I am have learned from experience that there can be no secrets (well maybe just the embarrassing one...
). There has to be a set schedule as to when you two are going to talk to each other - and create an activity that you would do if you two were actually living together. For example picking a movie to watch and you both watch it or a book of the month. Try SKYPE!!!! It is an amazing service and although you cannot touch each other you will get some relief seeing each other.
I am an eternal optimist and I always hope everything goes well. Remember life is not a dress rehearsal DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!!
~Erika
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