Art Markman, Ph.D.
YouBeauty Psychology Advisor
replied over 1 year ago:
It is important to be able to talk to people about things that they might not want to hear. Even when there is a guy you really like, there will be things about him that you're not so wild about. So, you need to be able to say things that might disappoint someone else.
It is important to be direct (but kind). Often, when we talk to people we don't want to hurt, we say things indirectly. ("I'm just not interested in a relationship right now...") People interpret what you say as generously as possible. (If you say "right now" then that leaves open the possibility for the future.) Better to say something like, "I think you're a (nice, sweet, interesting) person, but I am just not interested in getting romantically involved with you." It seems harsh to say it directly, but it helps in the long run.
And the better you get at saying things directly, the healthier your relationships will be with the people you really are interested in.
