editorNadia replied over 1 year ago:
Groups of three can be really tough--I've been in that same situation myself before! It can be really tempting to try to figure out what K is mad about and why, but until you sit down and talk with her, that can actually be counter-productive. If she feels reluctant about talking to you, try approaching her as a friend who genuinely cares about her. You might say something like, "I've noticed that there seems to be some friction between us and I really value our friendship, so I'd like to understand what's going on. Can we talk about it?" If she says nothing is wrong, then you can tell her what doesn't feel right for you so that you define the problem. But make sure that when you do that, you frame it in terms of what you're feeling and experiencing, rather than what you think she's doing or feeling--she'll be less likely to get defensive. You can also tell her that you feel hurt that she stood you up and that you really care about your friendship and want to talk this through. When you approach someone in a loving, compassionate, honest way, it's harder to refuse. Good luck repairing the friendship! It's great that you're so proactive about fixing the situation.
