Jealousy

(6 replies)

by fedup34

over 1 year ago

Viewed 1432 times

I don't know why I'm always so jealous when my husband looks at other women? Why does it bother me so much? I don't think I'm ugly but I don't. see the beauty Within me. I am always cheerful and happy going, I can't see why I so empty. What Could be the root of this? And how can I unwelcome this heartache? It really hurts, Please help me. I am so blessed in so many ways but with all the negative thoughts In my head I fail to see it.

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editorNadia replied over 1 year ago:

Seeing our own beauty is always tough, but the best way to get rid of negative thoughts is to challenge them. That can be difficult at first, but whenever a negative thought comes up, look for information that might disprove or temper it. For example, if you say to yourself, "I'm not beautiful on the inside," then challenge that by thinking of moments when you have been generous, trusting, loving, caring, selfless--whatever you consider beautiful. Ask your friends and family to tell you about qualities of yours that they particularly love or moments when they found you beautiful. Then whenever that thought comes up again (and it's okay if it does), use that information to challenge it. Eventually, those thoughts will become less frequent and will start to feel less true.

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kochj replied over 1 year ago:

Dear Fed Up, It seems to me that your issue lies in insecurity. You said that you do not see the beauty within yourself. Find it. As women we loose ourselves in our relationships. Stress, marriage, kids we loose our femininity our worth. It hurts when the person we love looks at other people, but that is his issue. You are not wrong to feel the way you do. Feelings are what they are they are not facts. Remind yourself everyday that you are a beautiful woman, and what you have to offer is more than just superficial. Besides the women that he is looking at are not going to look that way forever. True beauty comes from within.

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fedup34 replied over 1 year ago:

How do I change the negative thoughts of my past? We doln't even have sex, maybe once or twice A month. I use to always take initiative with everything. I don't know if it is just me being petty. Maybe you can put me in a reality check. Is it normal to talk to your partner once a day? Should it be only You calling because the other end is too busy at work? Mind you we leave each other 7am and don't See each other till 7pm maybe 8 on some nights? What about sex, is it ok to have sex once or maybe Twice a month at 34yrs old and yet I know he watches porn on a weekly basis? What could it be? I think I'm pretty cute, clean, full of love and affection towards him. Always there, maybe more than I should be? I just don't know and you can't even speak to friends because I don't even know if there's Even a real one out there anymore. Well thanks for sharing your thoughs with me, I appreciate it. Thank yoi:-)

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fedup34 replied over 1 year ago:

You're definately right. I've been keeping myself only around positive. Thank goodness For the church doors always open to me because I don't know where I would've been. Don't Take me wrong I have a wonderful 4 year old daughter and an amazing family. I really dn't say Much personal things because we really do all love each othe. I feel they worry too much, so I keep A great deal to myself. I practice church on a regular just not when I'm sad, also on my happy days As well. Sometimes it's good getting advice from others. Thank you for your feed back.

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editorNadia replied over 1 year ago:

It's totally normal not to talk to your partner while they're at work (my husband and I usually don't talk to each other at all during a work day). In any relationship, you need a space that's just yours and work can be that for many people. But it sounds like you're feeling distant from him. If you feel like he's pulling away as you're trying to get closer, then he might be feeling overwhelmed, so try giving him that space. There are some tips for how to do that in this article: http://www.youbeauty.com/relationships/attachment-style-the-secret-to-successful-relationships And last but certainly not least, there's no right or wrong amount to have sex. Whether you do it every day or twice a year, it's about finding the right balance for you. If you'd like to have sex more often, he might not know that. Just tell him. Most guys are pretty into hearing a woman say, "I want to have sex with you more often." ;-) When you have that conversation, focus on your feelings and what you'd ideally like, then listen to his feelings and what he'd like as well. But bottom line, whatever is going on between you has nothing to do with whether or not you're a lovable, valuable person--you absolutely are, no two ways about it.

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bettyliem replied over 1 year ago:

You might be a very insecure woman who bases her identity on what others think of her. Try to work on all of the aspects of your life... Then you will realize that your partner is just that--a partner, and not your god or something. They say, "Everybody hurts, sometimes."

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