koilady63 replied 10 months ago:
You can't change the pattern all by yourself. Unless or until your husband wants to turn toward you, you can only make yourself happy. Start with clear, honest, and (as much as possible) emotion free communication. Use "I statements" such as "I feel lonely when you have to work such long hours. I would really enjoy spending Saturday afternoon with you at the Polk Street Jazz Festival." If he is not interested, look toward those friends who you treasure most. If you are alone in a new town, look in the newspaper and find gallery openings, nature hikes, tours of historic homes, and other activities that will give you a chance to get out of the house and not feel alone. Keep the lines of communication open with your husband and realize that some professions demand very long hours. He may not be trying to avoid you. He may be trying to provide the lifestyle you desire.