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Resolving a conflict with my boyfriend's mother

2 replies

almost 3 years ago

I always thought that my boyfriend's mother liked me until I overheard her telling him that she thought I was a cold, emotionless person (with the implication that he could do better). I called her phone and left a voicemail letting her know that I had overheard this conversation and wished to speak with her. Four months later, she still hasn't called me (and won't even though my boyfriend has asked her to). I really only want to clear the air with her and bring things back to a positive level. How do I go about resolving this when she won't call me herself or take my calls? Also, I may see her soon in person--if I do, what should I say then (it will also be around her birthday so I wouldn't want to upset her and ruin her birthday)?
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  • User_8
    almost 3 years ago
    She's probably really embarrassed to know that you overheard her conversation. No one likes to be caught gossiping about someone else--especially when they're saying something mean. This is probably one of those situations where it's best to take the high road. When you do see her, just focus on the positive: You care about her son, you really want to have a positive relationship with her, you understand that she wants the best for her son and you hope that you can be that person for him. Make an effort to get to know her and to help her get to know you. Of course, that's really hard if she won't call you back, but if you just keep reinforcing the positive, she may eventually feel comfortable talking to you.
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    almost 3 years ago
    As Ive spent the last four years trying my very best to understand my mother in law.. Id say the best thing you can do is try, and remember that even though its difficult, she will always be the mother of the man that you love.. and she loves him and will never think anyone could be good enough. Its just a mom thing... this is my second marriage..oh how embarrassing to have to admit and in my first one the greatest downfall I had going in was underestimating the importance of a good relationship with his mother and in the end it tore us to pieces best advice here... just like pp keep trying and be very careful not to nag or complain to your boyfriend about his mothers refusal do your best to just say that it hurts you and you love him and hope to have a great relationship with her someday.
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