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Scared my marriage is going to end if I don't lose this weight.


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jwaites24

over 2 years ago

Hello everybody. I have had a problem with my weight ever since I got married (7 years ago). I never had any issues with it when I was a teenager. I always weighed around 110-115. I now weight 165 and have already lost 18 pounds. At my heaviest I was 183 and VERY miserable! Does anyone have any advice on how I can lose this extra weight quickly? My husband is really wanting me to get it off. Thanks for your time!!
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  • User_230704
    ChiTownLady
    over 2 years ago
    How tall are you? I was 115-120 when I was a teenager and now that I'm in my mid-20s I've settled more around 130. I was freaking out, by my doctor said that sometimes you're body just naturally moves to another healthy weight (so you may not need to lose as much as you think). You should get a physical to see whether there's anything going on internally as well. You've already lost a good amount of weight so I'd just keep doing what you're already doing (especially what kind of foods you're consuming during the day). My concern is that your husband is pushing at you to lose the weight instead of supporting you in trying to be healthy. 165 is not that overweight (seriously) and I'm concerned that he's given you the idea that he might leave you if you don't get the weight off. That's not an acceptable reason to reject a partner. If he can start positively supporting you in losing the weight, I think you'll lose weight faster and keep it off. Good Luck!!
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    jwaites24
    over 2 years ago
    I am only 5'1. When I met my husband I was a little conceited. I really felt good about myself and he couldn't keep his hands off of me. Now, he hardly ever touches me. I initiate everything usually. He does every once in a while. I know he is losing his attraction to me and I am afraid if I don't do something about it soon he will make me leave for good. I would NOT be able to handle that. I would end up in a mental instution because he is my world! And this is something that is my fault so knowing that would drive me nuts. Knowing that this could have all been prevented if I had just stopped pigging out all the dang time! ugh. this really sucks.
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    JazzGrigsby
    over 2 years ago
    Chitownlady- you are absolutely right!I have the same exact issue that jwaites24 has! I've started to do lots of cardio workouts and yoga and pilates is also good to. It's very relaxing and low impact so starting off it doesn't kill you and make u want to die by sweating to death on the floor. Lol. And chi- town is rightits not about the weight HE wants you to be. It's about finding your "happy" weight which onlyyou can decide for yourself! I know its hard to get there especially when you're feeling the way you are. I just want to let you know myself and thousands of other women know exactly why you are going through. Pat yourself on the back every once in awhile you're doing this for yourself before it gets too out of control for you to stop! And thisisthe best part....YOU ARENOT ALONE!!! I feel for ya woman! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
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    jwaites24
    over 2 years ago
    ya know what? i came on here looking for support and encouragement, not criticism. So if that's all you have to say then u need to go somewhere else. That was a very immature comment. I am very happy with my husband. That is why i gained so much weight. It happens to alot of people when they find the one they love. so if you have anymore comments like that keep them to yourself. I do not appreciate the insult.
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    tiana1017
    over 2 years ago
    you should work more on your mental thinking first before worrying about your weight, that's the first step, It very sickening to read that you said you would end up in a mental institution because he is your world. The only person that should be your world is your children if you have any and God if you believe in that. No man or No woman should be put in that type of pedestal. in fact when men know that he is your world a lot of them will take advantage and will cheat on you so be careful, have some self esteem and love yourself first then everything else will fall into place.
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    tiana1017
    over 2 years ago
    chi town lady, I'm not sure exactly what your age is but when we get to be women, we are not going to stay at our weight during our teenage years, if you are 25 or maybe a little older then our bodies go through changes, more weight gain, widening of the bones etc, our actual frames get larger during certain age groups, I'm 42 now and do not look the same as a teen 117, then as a 26 i was 128 and now at 42 131 which isn't that bad but would like more muscle, its good to start working on that as to not get osteoporosis. I have a friend whose 25 and have known her since she was 19 and is unhappy with her body, i told her you are growing more into a woman lol, she was 105 at 19 now shes 120, shes only 4'11 so that seems like a lot to her but it's really not. Women are beautiful in all shapes and sizes, I think Adele is beautiful for one and not fat..
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    tiana1017
    over 2 years ago
    I have a strong personality I know, but anyways if you want to lose weight quickly try this, its called the master cleanse, google it but make sure its the original master cleanse, , you can just buy the times at a grocery store, u don't need to purchase the kit online when you can get the list yourself cheaper at the grocery store. Also you can buy hoodia to help as an appetite suppressant which will make the master cleanser more bearable as you won't be as hungry had you not taken this. if you are in good health and have no major health problems that is something to try and this time try not to lose yourself in your marriage, don't forget to take care of yourself the same way before you got married, i mean people forget and let themselves go to fully concentrate on their mate which isn't healthy so they don't try to lose weight until hubby or wife tries to leave them. I'm glad you are trying to lose weight but do it for yourself mainly NOT because if hubby leaves you can see yourself in a mental institution., that's not cool at all, realize men cheat on single beautiful women as well, they go more for women who stand up for themselves and respect themselves more. Just remember what your hubby doesn't want, someone else will so don't feel like one person is your whole world =)
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    taylorgoesmoo
    over 2 years ago
    Don't lose weight for him; lose it for you! Many married woman forget to love themselves because they are too busy loving their family. He should love you for who you are, and not try to make you lose the weight. I can understand if he was worried about you, but if he just wants you to lose the weight, then I wouldn't do it. I just wanted to add that before I went on to the advice. I don't know how tall you are, but 165 is a normal weight in America. Check your weight on a BMI to see if your weight is good for your height. -----> http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ To lose weight I would drink more water! Seriously, I have started drinking just water in my day, and have lost weight. Cut things out of your diet that you really don't need. Hope I helped! :]
  • User_82117
    ohbrowneyedgurl
    over 2 years ago
    Have your husband do it with you. If he's the one pushing you, it would be beneficial for the both of you to get healthier and he'd be able to understand the difficulties you're having. Also, losing weight is easier when you have positive influences around you (i.e. healthy eaters). Most importantly, do what works for you. If you feel good and you're losing weight, stick with it. Don't rush it, because that usually turns into crash dieting and leads to weight gain. Here are some things I do, which work for me as I've lost about 85 lbs on my own. -Walk as often as possible. Even trips to the grocery store can be exercise. Park far away, and while in the store, walk around a lot. -Pick up a hobby or do something to get your mind off of food. Sometimes I find that getting out of the house and seeing friends or going to the movies help (as long as you don't get snacks). -When you do feel hungry, drink water. Try and drink more water. Even if you are actually hungry, water won't hurt you. -When you've got a craving for something unhealthy, get your mind off it by going for a walk or exercising. It's definitely easier said than done, but just try and remember, before you eat anything, think "Am I going to feel guilty about this later?" and "Do I really need this chocolate bar?". -When you're feeling bad or guilty for eating something you shouldn't have, remember your goals. Remember how far you've come and how far you know you can go. I like to think of people who have lost the weight. "If they can do it, I can do it too!" -Try and have healthier foods in your house, so if you do feel hungry, binging on fruits and vegetables don't really set you back. They're loaded with fiber, so you're main concern won't be gaining weight. -Try making smoothies. I personally love smoothies because they can be healthy and fiberful. I'm lactose intolerant, so my smoothies usually consist of fruit and juice. Smoothies can also be made with skim milk and Greek yogurt (because that is very healthy for you). But try to stay away from ice-cream and chocolate syrup. -Greek yogurt. Like I said, I'm lactose intolerant, so I can't eat it, but I've heard of weight loss miracles. My own father, who is a diabetic, ate it and lost a lot of weight, and my friend's father lost nearly 100lbs. -Don't overdo it. Eating lots and lots of healthy food might seem like the right thing to do, but too much of anything isn't good. The same goes for exercise and dieting. Don't starve yourself or force yourself to run for an hour when you're only capable of 30 minutes. Do what you can and what makes you feel good.
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    lovebeingcory
    over 2 years ago
    I know your post was a while ago but I saw it and just had to respond although I don't really know where to begin. If the man truly loves you he will love you at any weight. A little weight can be gained or lost easily but the true you inside never changes. If you feel that you need to lose weight then do it but if you are happy with yourself, regardless of what he thinks, then don't change unless YOU want to. I learned the hard way that you cannot base your self esteem of self worth on what others think. You said that when you met him you were conceited and now you feel terrible about yourself. That might be why he's not all over you anymore. We are all attracted to confident people. Be proud of yourself for other things besides your weight. When your confidence shines through he will see it and gravitate towards it. If he doesn't then someone else will. There are are like 7 billion people on the planet. He may not be the only one for you.
  • User_269729
    strawberryblue
    over 2 years ago
    No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Your marriage shouldn't end because of your weight. It should end because you accidentally married The Unholy Lord of Hell. Ooops! Hindsight's always 20/20, am I right?
  • User_269729
    strawberryblue
    over 2 years ago
    Oh, and congratulations on loosing 18 pounds even if your motives weren't the best.
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    jwaites24
    over 2 years ago
    I just want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you who replied, with the exception of the one person who was a smart a**. Thank you guys so much! All of your advice is really helpful. It feels great to know that there are nice people out there such as yourselves that will actually take time from their day to reply to my message. Really, I am truly greatful. I am going to take all of the advice I have gotten from you guys and put it into a killer weight loss plan! lol. oh and FYI, my husband and I have been through a LOT of things and through it all I have promised him that I would lose this weight. I can understand why he wants me to lose it. I honestly don't know how I would feel if he suddenly gained 70-80 pounds. I know i would still love him and stand by him but the physical attraction wouldn't be as great. So I am not angry or bitter about him wanting me to lose it. I just really need encouragement and support and that's why I appreciate all of you! I will keep y'all posted on my progress and would love to hear more of what y'all have to say! Thanks again! :)
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    jwaites24
    over 2 years ago
    oh oh and thanks to strawberryblue for the Congrats!! :)
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    Annamt
    over 2 years ago
    Eatting healthy foods and getting enough sleep can help. Stress can be a big problem on trying to loss weight,so if u have time during the day and if u want to get your mind off of things try taking a friend along with you if you want to go for a walk or if u want to go to a work out place,a buddy system always works. When you are doing any work outs always put your main focus on what you are doing like for an example if you are at a YMCA and there is a tv going in there while you are exercising,try to focus on you and not the tv. Always believe that you can do something,dont ever say i can never do this or that.
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    over 2 years ago
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    rosieeee
    almost 2 years ago

    your husband shouldnt leave you because you have gained extra weight he is sick in the mind 

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