Should I Start Online Dating?

(17 replies)

by shinelove11

12 months ago

Viewed 1820 times

I've been divorced for over a year, separated for a year before that. I think I'm ready to get out there and start dating. Unfortunately, because I have a full-time job and very active children, I'm never in a position to meet a man the "old fashioned" way. Thus, I'm considering trying the whole online thing. I'm nervous though, so I'm wondering . . . do you think it's a good idea? Which sites are the best? Should I pay or try the free option? Any personal experiences? Thanks!

We all know how some dating and hookup sites are complet ripoffs just out for your money. I recently register an account on Cougarkiss.com and got excited, I got many winks and emails from men I am interested. Then I heard an add on the radio for it and it kinda sparked my interest again.

Does anyone know if this is legit or not? This looks like a gold mine if its legit.

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hellojoelle replied 11 months ago:

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CC Angel replied 11 months ago:

My personal experience, on my profile I specified a certain race & age, & I got older men & some of the race I requested. So now I just delete any and all inquires.

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scarletsublime replied 11 months ago:

My personal experience was good, and bad. I tried Match.com Good because I found the man I'm now engaged to. Bad because there are 50 bad choices or creeps for every good possibilty. I'd say that if you are very clear on what you want and are looking for, online dating may be for you. But you really need to know what your "red flags" are, what it is in someone's communications with you that could signify a problem/mismatch. Yes many men of inappropriate age or compatibilty will reply. But that happens offline too. We all get approached by the wrong guys in person so why would it be different online?

Treat the first date like an interview. Go for coffee, not "drinks". Talk. Ask questions. See if you have the interest to actually have a "date". Then next time you meet have lunch. Do something fun that requires interaction. If all that works out then do the "evening out" thing... In simpler terms, don't jump in with both feet.

Personally I found it much better that way than to accept a dinner date with someone only to discover halfway into it that I desperately wanted to get away from that person.

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BojoMama replied 11 months ago:

I was in college trying online dating. I tried eharmony and true.com. I had a better exprience with True. You could narrow your choices down to what you wanted in a partner and it would bring people up from your area too. Plus it's free to join and look. At least it was in 2007 when I used it. Anyway I met a wonderful, down to earth man on that site. And this month we celebrated our 3rd year wedding anniversary and this august we will be celebrating our son's 2nd birthday. There is someone out there for everyone. Good Luck in finding that special someone!

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scarletsublime replied 11 months ago:

PS~ I'm 56. And the name "Cougarkiss" just creeps me out... If the site works, well OK. But, really? Cheesy.

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AnnaJoy replied 11 months ago:

I tried online dating and unfortunately ran into a number of registered pedophiles and predators. I'm sure there are good men out there, but you need to be really smart and VERY careful when going this route.

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Margigow replied 11 months ago:

I worked for a dating service and later used eharmony. I think it's a great industry and I am happy to say I met my fiance' through eharmony. He was the first and last guy I met. We are separated by the state of Wisconsin, I never would have met him if not for eharmony!

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dblaacker replied 11 months ago:

I really think that any man registered on a website called Cougarkiss is not the right kind of guy to date. I had an account on Okcupid for some time, and it's free. I met my last boyfriend on there and while he was a good guy and things went well for a little while, after I moved back to grad school we decided that the distance was making it too hard, so we broke up. However, if you'll be staying in the same area, that shouldn't be a problem for you. Just keep in mind that you've got to learn how to judge people by their profiles. It may help to meet up with a few just for coffee or something and try to get to know them to see how they present themselves via the internet. You'll become a better judge of profiles over time. If you've not tried online dating, Okcupid would be a good website to try it out. You're not really paying for anything, so it's not quite as much of a loss if you meet a few ******** in the process.

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dblaacker replied 11 months ago:

Aw man, they starred out my dirty word! Hint: synonym for donkey + holes

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DeDi22 replied 11 months ago:

I've in my late 20's and have been online dating for about a year now. My advice is don't pay! There are plenty of good free sites. I paid for Match.com and met one guy after being on it for 6 months. He didn't look like his pictures and we had nothing in common. I'm not interested in any of my Match "matches". I've had lots of luck with OkCupid. They really let you narrow down what you're looking for- not just match your compatibility. I've had a few longer relationships from OkCupid and met a few friends as well! As someone mentioned before, your best bet is a short date like coffee so you're not stuck if he's creepy. You will never know until you try!!!! :)

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DeDi22 replied 11 months ago:

Oh I forgot to mention- I'm also a single mom, that's one reason I joined online dating. It is very hard to meet men when you barely go out and take care of your kids all the time. Online dating is also great in that it lets guys know you're a divorcee and have children right in your profile (which can sometimes be akward to tell a man).

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Malc replied 11 months ago:

I guess I'm the only male replying (sofar). I'm 45 and I've used a (dutch) dating site. I've only had one date out of it (I'm picky and as a male you won't get a lot of replies), which ultimately did not turn into a relationship. However, we are now best friends. So even though I did not find what I was looking for, I did get something very valuable out of it.

My point is, be open-minded. You never know.

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Malc replied 11 months ago:

Oh and on the topic of going for coffee so you can easily call it a day... I'm not sure I'd always agree.

Like I mentioned, I only had one date. This was after exchanging a lot of very open and honest messages. By the time of our date, she and I were pretty intimate without having seen each other.

For our 1st date, I chose to hire a boat and take a trip. This obviously could have been a disaster, so we agreed in advance to be open about our feelings of physical attraction. If there was no klick, we'd say so immediately. As it turned out, we had a beautiful day full of great talk and memories.

So I guess coffee is a safe option, but on the other hand, taking a chance can have its benefits too... you are expressing you are taking it seriously.

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liljenquist replied 11 months ago:

I tried a dating site set up for those of my religion. Although I encountered some men who were misrepresenting themselves, I was easily able to block them and report their misconduct. It took very little time before I met the most wonderful man. We have been married one year now and it is still as wonderful as the first time we chatted. The nature of dating online makes it possible to ask tough questions early on and get to know each other well through the chats. When we were sure about our feelings for each other we exchanged phone numbers and then after talking every day we had our first date. It came nearly a month after we met. I would say to procede with caution, but it can turn out wonderfully.

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Vicky1984 replied 11 months ago:

It's silly that dating sites make people pay just to join them, that's just a basic website. I understand it costs to keep a site up and running. Though that's the choice you make when you open an online dating business. I know they need to make a profit some where, that's why they could sell other stuff on the dating websites, like books about relationships and maybe a personal coach that can help the people find a perfect partner, personalized clothing and etc. All for a reasonable fee of course, by hiring a personal coach that will help you. Now if people didn't need any of that and the site isn't making money, they can also get investers to invest into a website that helps others without expecting to get any cash back. They can even have a donation on the site that can help the website too. I admit some dating websites do let you keep your basic profile, that lets you add a profile with your information and up to 3 pictures for free and still talk to others. Now if you decide to upgrade and make it fancy or what ever, it is understandable that they charge a fee for that and send free e gifts and etc. I wouldn't blame them for charging to upgrade. Now if people never wanted to upgrade then that is fine too, they can still find other ways to keep the website up and running. If the owner of the website had parties/ events that the people had to pay reasonable fee to go to the event is a good idea for the dating website and plus it's a win/win situation, because you get to meet the actual people and the creator of such an amazing idea and have fun as well. You can even make friends at these parties/events too. :D

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ernurse replied 8 months ago:

I tried many online sites, match.com, eHarmony, Seniorpeoplemeet (for over 40), plentyoffish, and okcupid. I really enjoyed okcupid and am still with him - talking marriage at this point. As for the other sites, beware of phonies who are actually based in Africa, looking to get money, electronics, etc from women. If someone comes on strong very quickly and fails to meet you in person, forget it. They're not for real!

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shethen replied 8 months ago:

I recently moved to a new area and tried POF, it's a free online dating site...I would not pay, I didn't...After meeting 4 guys for lunch everyone I met there was no connection...But I finally send this one man a message and low and behold were now seeing each other...My rule is ALWAYS meet in a public place first, never go to their house...If he wants to see you again, meet in a public place that time too, until your comfortable, there are WAY to many crazy people out there and you never know...It's always better to be safe than sorry...

Good luck and happy fishing :)

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