Why do couples hurt each other verbally if they love each other?

I  been in this relationship  two years,things ok he's 42 yrs old i'm 41.we are compatible in someways.i just can't get that i'm secure feeling from him in any area of the relationship.he say all the time i don't have faith in him.but, he give me no reason too! He's slow at getting everything done.visible issues he don't attempt to fix or help.i'm the hard worker physically in this situation,he's mentally.i get mad them we start putting each other down and then we argue.it's always about jis place as a man then he tell me i need to do more.problem is i do too much being the women in this situation.I can't do more,unless i be the man too then it will be a problem.i need advice please.