10 months ago
Viewed 3995 times
We have been together for a year and a half, and he cheated. And says he won,t do it again. But have always heard " Once a cheater, Always a cheater" So I am not sure how to trust him again. And yes I love and and I do believe he love me. Its the trust issue, and the thoughts that if he really loved me, how could he cheat???
How was his relationships before u.Not what he told u but what u know as fact.Other things is get to the bottom issue on why he cheated..if its just because or fact yall were fighting whats not to say he wouldnt do it again..ppl make mistakes its a process of being human fact is mistakes are something u learn frm and dont repeat. So even though u love him u need to gather true facts bout ur relationship and go over it..Trust is a must in a relationship if u dont have no point in one.
I agree with "keeper" make a list of pros / cons - look at his past relationships - and really be honest about your relationship with him... for if there's no trust or honestly - there's no relationship... I feel for you - it's not an easy choice to make - but you need to for your sake....
I feel a man should tell their woman the truth so their can move on, I'v been with this guy for maybe 3ys we did good for each other he was so super nice to me all thing become we did was up and down. We try to work out the problem and until this year during this summer he call me and told me he does something really bad after i send him $40.00 for his B-Day this year in march, one day he left me a voice message on my phone and said he needed to talk to me and when I called him, he said he couldn't take the money that i send him I told he keep it because I was doing something from my heart when we talk on the phone he told me he was cheating on me, that brough me tear. He said he really doesn't know what to do i ask him what do you want he said he don't know.One day this week I got a letter in the mail box it from his address but i through it was from him it from a woman said i needed to stop writing ,text, or calling him he didn't tell me that at all and she said their will be married less then 3 weeks i was in state of stock about that i wish i could fall down and die for this man who lie to me .
i understand how you feel..being confused as to what to do. i believe that when you truly love someone you wont hurt them and if you know cheating will hurt n u do it anyway then i dont think that person truly loves you. i've been with a man for almost three years and he's cheated on me twice(that i know of), and we're still together. i trust nothing he says to me and always wondering if or when he's gonna do it again, who's he's with, where he is, is very frustrating and makes you unhappy and his reason was a very stupid one...especially after all i had out up with and sacrificed for him. i lost a baby for him, i've been locked up and have a case going on because of this man, taken all his excuses, he does nothing for me, he never has time for me, i've always been there, and the time i wasnt he cheated and told me that she was there for him thats why he did it. i broke up with him more than once because i know i deserve better but i keep letting him come back into my life and guess what, i'm more unhappy now than the times we were apart. i pray to God that he helps me to let go and never look back. maybe you can do the same...cause i dont think he'll never do it again. My only advice is that only you can decide when and if you want to let go, ppl might say you're stupid but it's YOUR choice to make. I'm praying and day by day i get more and more strength and i know soon enough i'll be able to kick his *** to da curb.....
Here is a reply from a male...
That is up to you. Do you feel you can forgive? Do you trust him and is your relationship strong?
What I don't understand is how someone can cheat within such a short time... 1.5 years, really?
In my experience (which is limited) people don't change. I've never cheated myself but I'm sure if I did it would be much easier the 2nd time.
Don't listen to me or anyone else. Choose what you think/feel is good for you.
I have been in the same situation but he not only cheated with one but 4 other females. When i found out i had just brought him to my exteneded family home for thanksgiving dinner. Can you say humiliated.. although nobosy knew what was going on was my ex, brother and me i was still embarassed by the fact that i had put my all into this guy and this is what he repayed me with. I was totally in love with him so when he told me it wouldnt happen again i believed him and stayed in the relation ship. Things went good for about 5 months and then the cheating started again, the only way i found out he was cheating is when i was told by my OBGYN that i had Clamidia. I could not take anymore. I left and 2 years later i was reunited with the real love of my life and we just got married this April..
But at the end of the story the decision is up to you, nobody will understand your hurt but you and your the only person that will know if he is really worth trusting again.
Just be safe and remember its always someone out there that will treat you the way you want to, and if he is it, go for it honey :)
Wow, this has been some really great advise. Some that brought me to tears. I thank all of you for your responces.
I have forgiven him, I believed he was my soul mate. I have made a decision that my relationship is worth saving, and TRUST is a must, I am willing to put my heart in this full force one more time, give him my trust and have faith that our love will prevail. There has to be something said for a woman who sticks by her man. But don't get it twisted, I am no idiot, if it does happen again, it will hurt like walking off the face of the earth and falling into the unknown, But I will be able to move on. I know that struggles sometimes make you stronger, and this is not one of the struggles I expected. Things are really good right now. And I hope that all of you are doing well, and I will pray that your relationships are blessed.
Trust once lost vry often is never regained. Having said that however, we make mistakes some worst than others. Sometimes we learn and change and sometimes the leopard just continues.........Trust your intuition and have regular heart to heart discussions. Best wishes.
Yes, only you can answer that? Can YOU trust him after the fact? ...dont overthink this...by now it should be a fast YES OR NO.
I believe you have the answer...Which is why you are asking on the board? All I can say is this...As women, we are natural nurturers, we take care of ourselves and everthing and everyone around us...at times forgetting US..WE are beautiful....when people treat us with disrespect and deception. the shame is on them..when we allow them to continue to do so, the shame is one us really.
It means we forget our worth...and ladies we know our worth..Sometime we all have to make very painful decesions. In the end it is all for the best, so follow your instincts..please listen to them not us..really...why did I say that? because they are never wrong..We just shut them up when they speak the truth and we want to hear/do something else. Good luck with your decisions. I know you will make the right one ultimately. Take care and stay beautiful!
A betrayal of trust is tough for most couples to make a recovery and the self-esteem damage is real for both men or women in any act of infidelty.
Answer one question. What do women really need from men? Can he commit to giving you what you need?
If you do not know that answer, get straight answers. If he does not know, then he needs straight answers.
Check out the title Men Need More: More Sex, More Respect, More Gratitude, and More Love.
I would just like to give some encouragement to all of you with a cheating partner and to those who need there lover back. My lover cheated on me The most hurtful experience was during a confrontation with the other woman when she came by my home looking for my boyfriend and looked surprised to see me there. I opened the door and asked what she wanted and she ignored me, i never knew My boyfriend has been having sex with her in our home, in our bed, My reaction was strange when she said that to me. I went and grabbed my boyfriend out of bed and shoved him out the front door. He was half asleep and very confused. I then went and grabbed his dirty clothes and threw them out on the porch with the two of them and told her that if she wanted him, she could have him, but she was taking his laundry too. I then called my friend and told her what had happened. She suggested I take the time to go through his phone. I found 3 other women and called them all. One he had lent my car too when he lied and told me it was in the shop. Another he had slept with when I was in the hospital recovering from sickness, The third was the one on my porch. They had all been seeing him continuously and he had told them we were only living together. The one on my porch didn’t even know I lived there. My ex told her I took off with another man and left all my stuff which is why she looked so shocked when I answered the door. i loved him so much i don't know why my love for him is so strong, i now have to find a solution to this problem on how i am going to get him back and put his life to shape, when first contacted firstname.lastname@example.org to help me because i have heard many thing about his love spell, I was doubting not knowing that he was my last solution, when i gave him the chance to help me after 3 days my lover returned home to reconcile with me, we are back now I'm so happy.
janeparker from USA
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