HELP! I don't think i'm sexual attracted to my husband any longer!!!

by rrainey

8 months ago

Viewed 2320 times

 I'll be 30 in  a few days and my husband and I have been together since i was 17. We have been married going on 6 years and together over 12 years. I dont get excited any longer and I also cringe when he touched me!!! I feel so violated and uncomfortable when he rubs me( he only rubs the cooch, tits and *** area). How do i tell him(without him getting upset) that I'm not longer sexual attracted to him? I want to consider and Opne Relationship, ut I don't know if we both can handle that! HELP ME!

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  Kelly K replied 8 months ago:

  Clearly there is something other than lack of sexual attraction going on in your relationship.  People do not "cringe" and feel "violated"  when they are touched by someone they love--even if they aren't sexually aroused at that moment.  I think you are possibly frustrated by the lack of foreplay--thinking he sees you only as body parts  instead of as a whole person.  Perhaps you are panicked by your looming milestone birthday--you and your husband have been together a long time and your are questioning if he is "the one".  In any event,while a discussion with your spouse is definetly in order, an open relationship is NOT the answer to your problem.  Maybe a pastor or marriage counselor could help.  They could provide an objectivity  to your situation and some possible solutions.  In any event,don't be so quick to give u.p on your marriage,  God luck to the both of you!

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  DagnyT replied 8 months ago:

  A lot of changes, both physically and mentally, can happen between the ages of 17 and (almost) 30. Perhaps you guys are still doing things the way you did years ago......sexual needs change too. Most long-term relationships go through a period of being in a rut when both of you need to talk about what you would like to change. Can you talk with him about this? Believe me, he will have noticed your lack of enthusiasm. This a turning point where you two have the opportunity to make things better, and not just sexually. Open marriages RARELY work. Also, he may need to understand that women, from time to time, need to be reminded how sexy and beautiful they are......the whole person, not just "parts". The older we get the more often this is true. If we don't get it from our spouses then we will seek that kind of attentions from others - I don't mean cheating, just seeing if we get that special look from others. Is he the jealous type, or would he enjoy seeing the attention you get (and the envy he gets) when you go out together strutting your stuff? Anyway, change things up a bit, remember to cherish eachother, and work on your communication before you call it quits. You've already lasted together more than most couples, there must be some strength in your relationship. Figure out, together, how you would like to be in this next phase of life. Hope this helps. Best wishes to you both!

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  DagnyT replied 8 months ago:

  P.S. If sex becomes a "duty" rather than a mutually anticipated and satisfying experience, then is will feel like a violation or prostitution. Please do not put yourself through that anymore. Talk with him.

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  Margie01 replied 8 months ago:

  I am going thru the same thing. Except I have been with my husband since I was 14 years old. We had our son when I was 17. I am now 29 and I dont want him to touch me anymore and we often fight about it. I know we need to have a talk but if that doesn't work leaving may be a option. I have changed so much and he seems to be falling behind. I don't want to continue feeling this way although we have been together for do long. But I can't sacrifice my happiness for someone who isn't on the same page as me. We grew together as children but grew apart as adults. Some people change and sadly that's life. Good luck to the both of us.

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  rrainey replied 8 months ago:

  Thank you all for the responses. And yes my sexual desire has changed drastically! I no longer have the desire to want to be with him sexually and hell to be quit honest; If i'm not climaxing, i dont think it's fair that I should be "forced" to have sex when I know the ebd results. We have been through a lot and we both need to really sit down and re-evaluate our relationship to see if we are really for each other! Once again, thank you all for the responses.

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  Vibrant Life replied 6 months ago:

  Answer one question.   What does a woman really need from a man to keep the relationship alive?

  If you do not know, you need to get straight answers.
  
  Check out the title Men Need More: More Sex, More Respect, More Gratitude, and More Love.
  
  http://www.amazon.com/Men-Need-More-Gratitude-book/dp/B009TTOILU/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

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