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how can i tell if my boyfriend is bi? And on the down low....


14 replies
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mistylidster123

over 1 year ago

well...its a bunch of little things that have added up over the past year.  I guess what set this line of thinking in motion was when we first met, he admitted to receiving a BJ from his then and to present day (except the friend has since passed away) best friend.  Well, I have a gut instinct that it was NOT a one night thing and that my current boyfriend has been spicing things up quite a bit with variety.  He has many male friends.  Sometimes they whisper and think that I dont hear them.  His body language alone toward males is face to face, eye contact, engaged, and with woman, you can barely get him to look at you.  I dont know if i am over analyzing or if im hitting on something with my gut.  I cannot deny having weird feelings toward some of his friends and those are the ones he disappears with.  Ojease
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  • User_415669
    ModeratorErika
    over 1 year ago

    If you are having these feeling then they are valid. Straight men don't just receive oral sex from other men. A large majority of men who are heterosexual can even imagine standing to close to another man let alone whispering in his ear?!?!? Seriously mistylidster123...communication is predominately body language and not spoken words.

    No to be a Debbie Downer, but there are just too many red flags for my taste. There is no way to tell per say other then your boyfriend coming right out and saying it or being caught receiving sexual favors for other men. A good friend of mine said this is how to tell if you are gay (male or female). If the same sex person as you are does something to you in order to make you climax....YOU ARE EITHER BI OR GAY. Period!

    If you are okay with him sometimes hooking up with guys then stay...cause it will happen again. If not then you have to be with someone who is into pleasing women only. Hope this helps and good luck.

  • Avatar
    mistylidster123
    over 1 year ago

    thanks for the answer

  • Avatar
    Ally4314
    over 1 year ago

    If he love doing things and outside work or chores to do around the house too!!

  • Avatar
    enolac
    over 1 year ago

    Run as fast as you can unless you like being with a gay man who is using you because he (for reasons) is afraid to come out or he could be bi

  • Avatar
    Ammy Gordon
    over 1 year ago

    Pray first! When and if you have doubts, continue to investigate them as you have done but reread what you have wrote and think, you have given yourself proof already that he is what you say he is. Please walk away and don't try and wait for "sight evidence" to prove to yourself that he is this. 

  • Avatar
    Sociologist
    over 1 year ago

    For some people, coming out is difficult. If you ask him if hes gay and he says no, then what? More than likely you will still have doubts and that is one thing that will damage your relationship. Your best bet, imo, is to gently break off the intimate part of your relationship asap. If he is experimenting, you could be in danger of contracting a number of stds if the two of you arent practicing safe sex. Its always good to listen to your gut as its often correct. Best of luck with a very difficult situation.

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    Dave 772218
    over 1 year ago

    There are two very important thing I table quickly with any sexual friend I entertain. Discretion and hygiene are an important part of any relationship. Hygiene in the form of STD's. If your partner is gay there are many things that are transferred in that group that you want no part of.  Life threatening and altering if your young.  If he is entertaining a bisexual relationship its not EVER going to change. Having been prior military and older, you are not going to see ANY guy get that close to another guy.  Your gut has already notified you of the problem your encountering. Nicely say goodbye. Good luck.

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    jigsawinc
    over 1 year ago

    It sounds like he was trying to tell you when he confessed to the oral with his friend.. He may be tired of keeping the secret but is afraid to fully admit to himself and others that he is gay. I agree with the others.. our gut feelings are ususally right.... IF you just have to know or want to, you can talk with him... I can't begin to know what to advise you to say....otherwise you may want to gently break it off and move on... Best wishes.

  • Avatar
    Etheria
    over 1 year ago

    Wow, I'd be running in the opposite direction.  I hope you have used perfect and 100% of the time safe sex methods.

    You can do better!! Best wishes to you.

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    MumKat
    over 1 year ago

    Hello, why don't you sit down with him and talk with him, just ask him if he is interested in other men. BUT let him know that you have nothing against that preferance (if you don't). Some men are afraid to tell people, but once the person finds out than it becomes easier to discuss. Ask him what he wants in life and that you support his decision.  He probably doesn't want to feel like an outcast because he loves you, offer support. If he says that he isn't bi then just discuss that you had a feeling that he was and you don't mean to embarrass him in any way but you needed to talk with him. Let him know you love him either way, even if it means that you must separate the relaionship and let him go with another man. People don't choose to have certain preferances and will need lots of support to feel accepted.

  • Avatar
    brbieidoll777
    over 1 year ago

    I am sry but usually ur first instinct  is correct.  unfounately for u it sounds like he's gay or bi and if u  have to  question it then there  is something wrong.

     

  • User_747512
    messanger
    about 1 year ago

    i am so but i think that you are right

     

  • Avatar
    mistylidster123
    about 1 year ago
    thank you
  • Avatar
    omgwtf
    5 months ago
    My boyfriend cheyenne told me the same thing he is 27 now but he told me when he was 16 he recieved oral sex from his gay co worker he said the guy only did it for 2 seconds and cheyenne did not like it so he told him to stop.then i just fount out that he dressed in drag with his friend also iv been with my boyfriend almost 4 years and we have a eleven month old son together . My boy friend claims to only like females and he is very masculant he likes to listen to recon ball by miley cyrus and royals by lords he also hates it when people talk about gay people in a bad way he judges other guys looks and also hangs out with alot of guys some times when we are around his gy friends he ignors me and only pays attintion to them i really do not know what to do either because i am in love with this man and i dont want to lose him to a man . we have a familey together and he is the only person i want to be with the rest of my life im so scared .
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