I agree with the great advice guys! Foreverviolet....Please believe us andbelieve me when I say...It's ok for them to pull away now than later....They are all looking to 'score' and easy too! so what you are doing is (and you don't knowthis) is 'weeding them out' because the ones who care about you...WILL stay ..They will Not pull away....Please don't listen to your froends or anyone. Have you read in the news how many celebrities and people much older, and no they are not losers..Even that Olympian Athlete..Lori 'Lolo' Jones? (I mention her, as I am sure it is tough for her..she is popular, attractive, (and I am sure people look at her and say..I don't believe it)..well I do! and I was there..risking it here too for you.just to prove my point and hopefully help(:- But I went through a smiliar phase...I was so focused on school and was scared that I would lose my focus like most of my friends back then did....yep..I even got" you are so pretty so how is it you don't have a BF-are you a lesbian?" funny eh? HA! Like anything is even wrong with that? I should have said 'yes' ..next question...(:- that would have stopped all the silly questions!
What I was-- was not a lesbian, I was not ready, but I was very focused on my career(I am soooooooooooo glad I did)....Like myself, and Lori Jones, and so many others, stay true to you until you are ready....you will find (not guaranteed, and hopefully not)..but a lot of 'friends' will while you are pursuing your career, travelling etc., are stuck at home with 5 kids(again nothing is wrong with staying home with your kids), but who knows, seem to be a trend with many(not all), and the guys are MIA...just a bad cycle...and even if you find yourself in that place(hopefully not), let it be where at least you won't regret your decision and wish you had waited.
It is a beautiful thing to wait on the right person...I know, because that's exactly what I did...I did it My way..I don't know if I waited on the right person perse..but it was the right time..for me, and i found the perfect person.......It's a first deal that you will make with someone else regarding your body and one so intimate and special...It still brings a smile to my face when I think back to my first experience...There were no pressures, he waited, he understood, he was kind sweet gentle, romantic, reassuring, sent me flowers every Tuesday when we met for 4 years ..every Tuesday..nothing changed after...actually they were even more special. I left...I moved away for school..and I have not one bad thing to say about him or that relationship..He was one true gentleman...possibly the one that "got away"..ha! Joke..That's ok...But that's what you want to feel -special...and even if it lasts a year or a month...It should be something that, when you look back (even if you marry someone else, you smile ..no regrets, because you wanted to, you were not pressured and it was special).
People can take a lot from us...unless you are putting yourself in dangerous precarious positions and not being wary of your surroundings and the people you associate with(which I am certain you are careful as you manged until 20)! This is your decision..It's quite powerful and empowering to know you and only you will make that final decision, as to who will be the- not lucky, but deserving man... Please don't let anyone make that decision for you...If you do this out of pressure...Then someon else, not you --made that decision for you. Just remember that...Please don't give your decision-making power away like that. NEVER! ok? It's your life!
I went through that whole thing...I started deliberately first thing mentioning that over the phone or on a first date..Just to weed people out..the ones I never heard from convinced me they would not have stayed anyhow, and it was clear, they just wanted some more data to add to their 'boys bragging stupid little black book of hot girls I slept with' research.(:- Well no data from me! Yes Virgins are Hot! Every woman is hot-we all have to just remember to make decisions based on what WE WANT!
Pheew! see how passionate I am about that topic? because peer pressure thse days can do so much damage...I commend you for being a role model to yourself, and many other young girls and boys-You should get into the school sytem and start talking about this...I have an idea...what State are do you in?
I hope you have taken something positive away from all that ranting(:- ...good luck...stay BEAUTIFUL, because..YOU JUST are..and THAT's a BEAUTIFUL thing! Your husband or just a great man like I expereinced and so many other women, will love you for being different-in so-many-ways! and no it's not about saving yourself for marriage..I get that too. Please check in ok? I now have a personal interest in this(:- Ha! Let us know how you are doing. Ladies please share your stories so we can remind violet to stay true to herself her morals, values and standards set by her for her! Thanks!
Take care Violet and Stay Beautiful ok?
Dr. J
