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How to Tell My Boyfriend That I Don't Think I Have Had An Orgasm?


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BonnieCharly

over 1 year ago

My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for the past 4 months of our relationship and we both really enjoy the sex we have, but I don't think I have had an orgasm in that time.  My boyfriend always wants me to come before he does when we go at it, but he thinks that if he feels me tighten up down there, he's made me orgasm. The thing is though, when it happens, I don't really feel that different and I am not so sure it's an orgasm.  Don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy having sex with him and I often find myself being very enthusiastic and excited almost everytime we go at it, I just feel bad because my boyfriend thinks I am coming when I don't think I am. I've tried playing with my breasts, clit and vag and given him the best tips I can, but I still don't think it's happened yet. I'm getting really nervous and after every episode I feel worse and worse. How do I tell him, or what else can I do to find out what makes me tick?
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    RedSoxChick74
    over 1 year ago

    I've had the same problem, & it's always difficult trying to tell a guy.. I'm always afraid of them taking it personally, when it reality it's neither his fault or mine. All I can tell you is you're not the only girl , some girls/women just take more to.. you know.. lol. it's completely natural, the hard part is that its not natural for guys to be aware of this.  you shouldn't feel bad about it, even tho it's hard not to... I myself just fake it , but when something feels good, or like its getting close, just encourage whatever he's doing so he knows thats what helps, & you can get enjoyment out of it too.

    I think relaxing & trying to worry less about orgasming will actually help you too.. instead of thinking about it, just let yourself enjoy it

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    Supermansgirl57
    over 1 year ago

    I've had the same problem with every sexual partner that I've had. The best advice I can give is to be honest and DO NOT fake them! Because then he'll think if he does that you will achieve one almost everytime. If you need to, talk to him after sex about how it's difficult for you to have an orgasm. Of course tell him it's not him, you just need more time and experimentation to get there. Putting it this way makes it out to be a challenge and a fun game for him. Perhaps introduce some new things like toys where he can use them to help you get there. If he really cares for you it won't matter if he's making you orgasm using just himself or some extra help. And you never know, once you get to that point you may be able to find another way to achieve the big O with just him and no extras. :) Good luck!

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    Eli0606
    over 1 year ago

    Well, as long as u r enjoying make love with him and u r not far to reach the "top mountain' - the climax. May be u should try different position while u enjoy and will hope u more relaxed to be urself. The more u be ur self the easier u'll reach the point. I found mine when i'm on the top of my husband. Good luck girl, don't worry and u'll getting there:)

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    bjcortez
    over 1 year ago

    you need to masturbate until you do have an orgasm, know how to get there and what it feels like. you cannot help your lover give you an orgasm until you how and what to do to get one. how is your lover supposed to know the magic combination that will make you come when you don't??? I am sure he want you to have an orgasm and enjoy love making not fake it but you need to do your part. I cannot believe how many women fake it or tell others to fake it!!! love making with your partner is supposed to be for intimacy, how can lying to your partner about coming promote intimacy?? 

  • User_509743
    MyKinKStar
    over 1 year ago

    We are all responsible for our own orgasms and no one else should be expected to know how to get us off if we don't know ourselves.  Be honest about what you need to get off.  If you don't know what you need, then realize guys don't just know either.  We're all different and it takes your own discovery through masturbation to know what you like and what you need.  Once you've played around to find out what you like and can make yourself ***, do it again!  Practice some more and often, then show him for the real fun to begin!  

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    karmakamedian
    over 1 year ago

    I agree with the advice to masterbate until you KNOW what your orgasm feels like -- believe me when you have one, you know it.   Lots of jokes are made about vibrators but they definitely work.  Orgasm is a natural part of intercourse and your genitals are designed for it but it isn't unusual to have a problem reaching a climax, especially when you first become sexually active or with a new partner.   Sometimes being able to relax and trust the other person is all you need, so don't lie about it or fake orgasms, either -- no point feeling guilty, on top of feeling frustrated!

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