DagnyT
replied 8 months ago:
Any guy (or girl) who is not mature enough to understand that your "first time" is very important is not someone you should experience it with. I am assuming that you are old enough, in a loving relationship, and are going to use a condom.........right? Anything else is cheating yourself and you will regret it later. If you love him, tell him you are excited/worried/scared/curious and make sure he understands that it needs to be a tender experience. If you just want to "get it over with" - don't. It will suck. If you want to find out what orgasms are like - masturbate. Most young men do not know how to please a woman. But if you and your guy are ready for this, emotionally and physically, then this is an IDEAL description: You and he should make-out and touch eachother for a good amount of time, long enough so that you feel sexy, wanted, and very wet down there. He could put his finger in you to stretch or possibly break the hymen. If it hurts, ask him to stop. Keep doing foreplay until YOU are ready. If you have masturbated to orgasm already you will know when you are ready. Then remind him to be gentle. You and he could guide his penis to your vulva. Have him rub his penis around your labia (vaginal lips) and your clitoris (you know what and where that is right?). Get used to the feel of him touching you. Do not feel pressured to continue at ANY time if you are uncomfortable, in pain, or scared! Only do this when you feel it is ok. When YOU are ready (tell him he can't go in until you say so) then he should slowly and gently slide his penis into you and HOLD STILL. This will be difficult for most young men because by now he is very excited and you feel wonderful to him. If he can't get in, then he made need to break the hymen with his penis or finger OR you can do it yourself. There is probably a small opening already so just try to gently enlarge it. The pain many women talk about is usually having the hymen broken roughly and not being lubricated when he slides in. You can also use a lubricator like K-Y jelly or some other water-based lubricant. There may be a little blood from the hymen and this is ok. After you have relaxed from the first feeling of having him inside you, you and he could slowly move him in and out by moving your pelvises. For some, this will happen naturally, and it might even feel good. You or he could rub your clitoris at the same time for it to be more enjoyable. At this point he may not be able to control himself, and you may or not want it to end. He will thrust faster and more strongly and then orgasm (***). He may shake or groan because of how good it feels to him. Then he will probably get very relaxed and maybe even sleepy. If he is still inside you, help slide him out. You may still feel excited, if you didn't have an orgasm which would be rare, or you may feel sore. Try to enjoy the cuddling and sharing of the experience together. If he is a good guy, and a mature one, he may realize after a few minutes that you would like to be touched some more. If you are too sore then you can tell him that and he should understand. You may just want him to touch and kiss you for a while or play with your clitoris until you orgasm too. Hopefully there is a tender moment between you and a mutual feeling of love. Afterward you will probably want to wipe yourself off or need to pee. If he gets semen anywhere, it will feel slippery and be clear/white. It may dry on your leg and can be washed off easily. When you are alone again, spend some time thinking about the experience. This is one you will always remember, and hopefully it was a good one. Best wishes.
