Racking your brain for a holiday gift for Aunt Edna and Niece Taylor that’s cute and lovable and useful and affordable? Pause a moment and fuggedaboutit. Let Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goop crew take you away from all that. Their annual Ridiculous, But Awesome guide keeps getting more sublimely preposterous with each year, and we love it. They’ve teamed up with luxury experts Moda Operandi to pull together a list of 23 items that I’m betting not even the one percent can afford to lavish on family and friends. Check it out.

If you think a $114 price tag for toothpaste is not crazy funny, then consider giving a fluoride-free tube of Rennou-based Theodent toothpaste.


Or if one shave is worth $2,500, treat your boyfriend to the Oneblade Collector’s Edition. Tell him it’s time to ditch the Norelco.

Is an umbrella just too, too practical? Not if it comes from Alexander McQueen and costs $500. Not if you are in love with the skull theme that’s on everything from dog collars to…umbrellas. The skull is the handle.

This year Goopies started with items that would be practical in any other universe and then ratcheted the idea way, way up into the stratosphere. Take, for instance, the $2,000 clothes steam-cleaning system. “Just think of all the $ you’ll save on dry cleaning,” says the Goop description. We did, and the dry cleaner down the block came out cheaper. Or throw a sheet of Dryel in the dryer at home.

Bring the spa home with the Clearlight Infrared Sauna. The cost is only $2,295.

Need to brush up on your driving skills? Go to the Formula 3 Racing School for a mere $1,495 to $5,995 for your lesson.

Here’s a kit that could come in handy for surviving more than just a zombie apocalypse. Who doesn’t occasionally need a plan to stay alive for 72 hours using tools like ponchos, duct tape, waterproof matches, dust masks, food rations and a “survival shovel.”

Turning from the practical to the precious, Goop found a $6,850 customizable pet pendant from Irene Neuwirth. If your favorite animal lover refers to Fido as their “grand-dog”, this is the gift for the.

Entertainment and culture that’s free would be at the top of anybody’s list. Wait. Does the recipient have a scuba diving license? If so, there is an underwater art exhibit waiting. You just have to travel to Catalina Island off the coast of Los Angeles and charter a boat to get there.

Then there is the late actor Dennis Hopper’s personal record collection for…$150,000. The description hints it’s folk-heavy with an emphasis on Pete Seeger and Van Morrison and such.

A personal favorite is the $8,300 Groovy Yurt modeled after real-life yurts found in Mongolia. Go glamping in your own back yard instead of hiking over to the far reaches of China.

Can’t resist wrapping up the entire list? All this can be yours to give or keep for only $192,394. Peruse the entire guide here.