While the idea of waiting for your prince charming may be romantic at heart, there’s a fine line between fairytale romance and real-life delusion. Unfortunately, many of us carry childhood feelings of play and whimsy into adulthood, where we mangle them with dating problems that leave us longing for our fairytale.

Reality is, your feelings and psychological well-being shouldn’t rely on stories written in the 17th century. What starts like a fairy-tale romance in your mind very well might lead to costly therapy sessions. We’re here to snap you back to reality by dispelling some common myths fairy tales spin for us.

1. “The One” is out there
Wondering why you can’t seem to find your perfect guy? You’re convinced you’ve been kissing frogs so far, and you just haven’t happened upon your perfect Prince Charming yet. The truth is, you might be waiting for a long time. If you have a criteria list of everything your ideal man should embody and all the guys so far just aren’t meeting the list, you might be a little too strict about what Prince Charming should be like.

Step back from the storyline and think about how life delivers a compromise. This isn’t just your story, and “the one” isn’t a fleeting character that arrives out of nowhere to serve you. You are out to meet a real human being with his or her own emotions. Give credit both to your process and your future partner’s. This doesn’t mean you let bad behavior slide, but keep both parties in mind when evaluating a relationship.

2. Our prince will save us
Your life doesn’t start or end at romance. If you’re waiting for life to perk up when you find your true love, you might not be at the point of understanding how love can enrich you without replacing the love you have for your own life independent of a partner.

Fairytales classically position the maiden in a situation where she’s helpless without a partner. Good news for you is that no matter how powerless you might feel, you’re not at all weak.

3. It’s going to be happily ever after
Nothing is forever, and this applies to love too. As people mature and age, their interests might make them grow apart. Expecting love to last forever and grow without solid everyday effort is like expecting to become a world-class chef without cooking.

Your happily ever after requires work from both parties in the relationship. You should be improving yourself as an individual and yourself as a partner.

4. Love will conquer the day
If there are severe issues in your relationship or your life, love won’t magically swoop in and save you from your woes. Fairytales paint a picture of love winning against darkness, but sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the reality. For example, if your partner is in any way abusive, love won’t save you.

5. Love at first sight
While love, at first sight, is out there, what you’re feeling is likely infatuation and lust, so don’t put your life on the line for it. If Vegas weddings have taught us nothing else, it’s that you shouldn’t get married to someone you don’t know for at least a year. Yup, for every fairytale there’s a Vegas wedding disaster.