If you just learned that you’re pregnant and the father is someone you barely know, telling that person can be the hardest thing ever. You’re not sure how he’ll react, heck, you’re not sure how you want to react. But, that doesn’t make the situation disappear. The best thing you can do before telling that person is take some time to decide what you want to do.
Will you continue on with the pregnancy, or will you terminate it? Regardless of what you decide, it’s your choice and it’s best that you’re firm on your decision before sharing this news with the father.
Once you’re firm in your choice, and if your choice is to terminate the pregnancy, there may be no need to share this news with the guy you had casual sex with. This can save you a lot of frustration. However, if you want to ask him to help you pay for the procedure, you will have to share the news with him.
If you decide to go through with the pregnancy, here are steps you can follow:
Don’t rush and tell him right away. Like mentioned earlier, you want to make sure you’re confident in your decision on how to proceed with the pregnancy. Keep in mind that the father may very well have a negative reaction.
Ask yourself these questions:
1 – Can you depend on this guy to help raise this child?
2 – How stable is he mentally, emotionally and financially)?
3 – Are you willing to have a life long relationship where you have to deal with this man?
When you reach out to him, he may want to blow you off. If you haven’t talked to him since that night, keep in mind that he may think you want to call and follow-up about that night. And while that is true, his mind is nowhere near what you’re about to tell him, so he may ignore you at first. Or, he may be really glad to hear from you.
When you talk to him, don’t get emotional right away. If you’d prefer, ask him to meet you in person because you want to talk to him about something totally unrelated to being in a relationship. If he agrees, great, but if not you’re gong to have to tell him over the phone.
Start the conversation cordially. Then ease into what happened that night. Let him know that you felt like he had a right to know. Then see what he says next, but be prepared for anything.
If he’s hostile, aggressive, or says he wants nothing to do with you. Don’t shout back. Remember, he’s feeling the shock you felt when you first found out. Give him some time to process the news. Let him know you’re sorry he feels that way and that he can contact you at a later date once he’s had time to process everything.
If he’s accepting, then the two of you will go from there making plans about the new responsibility you’re about to bring in to the world.