When you think about sex, kissing is usually the main focus. Kissing and sex typically go hand-in-hand… but what if they don’t? What if you like having sex, but you don’t like the kissing part of it?

Not kissing during sex is actually perfectly normal. Many people say that kissing is too intimate, especially when you’re not romantically involved with the person you’re having sex with. Other people say that they just don’t like kissing in itself. Either way, if kissing during sex isn’t your thing, that’s normal!

A 2019 study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy reported that out of 1,493 people, 87% reported kissing their partner during sex, 70% reported cuddling their partner, and 23% reported massaging their partner. Those who did all three was only 20%. However, what is interesting is that only 61% of couples reported kissing their partner the last time they had sex. The most common responses to not kissing during sex where that they don’t like kissing, their partner didn’t want to kiss, and they weren’t interested in kissing this partner. But there can be many reasons.

There’s no single definition when it comes to sex. And that goes the same with kissing. Some people might kiss during sex but don’t really count it, because it wasn’t intimate. However, there are definite benefits to kissing during sex. It can relieve stress, create a stronger bond between you and your partner, and improve your overall sex life. Kissing is typically the impetus to sex, and a lot of people can’t imagine having sex without kissing first.

So, is kissing during sex as typical as we think?

Overall, it all just depends on the person. If you start seeing someone who doesn’t really like to kiss during sex- don’t freak out! Some people consider kissing more intimate than actual sex, and getting to that point might take time. If it makes you uncomfortable, then it’s essential to bring it up to partner. But at the same time, if you feel like your relationship lacks intimacy, it might be a result of not kissing enough. There are definitely emotional and physical benefits to kissing. Still, at the end of the day, we all prefer different things during sex, and kissing might be one of them.