It’s often said that the key to marital satisfaction is finding a partner who shares your values and goals. But according to this study, it’s mindfulness, not similarity, that’s most important.

Married participants filled out questionnaires focusing on their satisfaction with and similarity to their spouses. They also completed a mindfulness scale, which measured the degree to which they sought out new things, exercised flexibility, and engaged with their surroundings.

The researchers found that similarity contributed to marital satisfaction hardly at all, but mindfulness accounted for about eight percent of spousal bliss. A possible explanation: People who are mindful are flexible, so they aren’t so caught off guard or likely to become unhappy when their relationships change over time.

Takes the pressure off finding the perfect mate, doesn’t it?