No matter how hot your sex life is, there’s one thing that every couple could use more of in the bedroom: romance. Building on emotional intimacy during sex allows couples to experience pleasure in an entirely new way and feel closer to each other in the process. “For new couples, feeling close and connected through kissing and eye contact are, anthropologically speaking, two crucial ways to decipher whether or not the other is a life mate,” says Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., author of “The 30 Day Love Detox.” “And for long-term couples whose sex lives may be on autopilot, bringing back the emotional intimacy during sex can revive their relationship.”
That’s not to say you need to break out cheesy music, candles and massage oil (though no judgments if that’s your jam). There are simple ways to evoke that lovey-dovey feeling by tweaking your favorite sex positions. Here are five to experiment with tonight.
Man-on-top is often dubbed as ho-hum due to its low maintenance moves and lack of clitoral contact, but there’s a reason this move is a classic. Missionary frees your hands to roam and explore each other’s bodies, allows you to make eye contact and lets your guy take the reins, which can be seriously exciting. Try these tweaks to keep things interesting: Raise one leg in the air during sex, or bring both knees to your chest. “The angle created by both of these positions will expose the inner labia and clitoris to allow for direct contact with the base of his penis,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of “She Comes First.”
This version of sex from behind allows your man to control the speed and pace of movement while you relax—but it’s also incredibly intimate. “This position gets a bad rap because it’s viewed as impersonal, but the feeling of a man’s body enveloping you can feel soothing and protective,” says Van Kirk. “It’s also especially exciting for men, who, if they sit up in this position, can look down and view the action up close, which keeps them engaged and present.” Simply lie flat on your stomach with your legs parted and have him slowly enter you, grabbing your hips or keeping his palms flat on the bed for balance. Then, either cross your ankles, keeping your knees bent (similar to a frog-like position) or slide your legs together for a tighter squeeze. Advanced move: Arch your back and raise your hips a few inches above the bed to provide a tighter fit (placing a pillow under your stomach works, too). If you’re not thrilled with your clitoris missing out on the action, have your guy reach around and manually stimulate you with a small, hand-held vibrator, suggests Van Kirk.
3Woman-On-Top (With a Twist) Position
Unlike classic woman-on-top, which puts you and your guy at a distance, having him sit up so you’re face-to-face intensifies romance: The close proximity of your lips lets you kiss and your arms are free to wrap around each other in a half-body hug. To pull it off, have him sit in a chair or on the edge of the bed. Then, straddle him with your legs on either side of his hips, slowly lowering yourself onto him. Aside from giving him a full-body view, he can manually stimulate your nipples, which, according to Walsh, releases a surge of oxytocin—the bonding “love” hormone. You can also experiment with different movements: Move in circles to stimulate the entire vaginal wall, back and forth to arouse the clitoris, or up and down for deeper penetration.
Snuggly and sexy, this position is both naughty and nice. “The angle of entry provides lots of G-spot stimulation and the sensation of your bodies pressed together feels cozy, as though he’s hugging you from behind,” says Kat Van Kirk, a clinical sexologist and marriage and family therapist. Start by lying on your side (he should lie behind you, facing the same direction) and then lift your top leg, pulling it back slightly and resting it over your guy’s hip. Then, have him scooch down a little with his knees bent, while he enters you. He can grab onto your hip during sex or run his hands all over your body. “What’s great about this position is that your heads are close enough to turn around and kiss, and with access to your back, he can lightly massage your shoulders, allowing you to relax into the pleasure,” says Van Kirk.
Otherwise known as the can’t-get-any-closer position, spooning face-to-face is like a steamy full-body hug, boasting deep penetration and plenty of intimacy-inducing eye contact. “That’s especially key, because the face is an often-ignored erogenous zone,” notes Van Kirk. “In this position, you can caress each other’s cheeks, kiss on the neck or run your fingers through each other’s hair.” How it works: Lie on the bed facing each other and wrap your arms around his neck, lifting your top leg to allow him entry and letting the leg fall over his hip or scissoring it through his legs, explains Van Kirk. Keep in mind that thrusting may be difficult in this position so move in circular motions or grind your pelvises together for maximum feel-good friction.