The way you relate to people affects all of your relationships, be it with a spouse, friend, work colleague, relative or romantic fling. Your “attachment style” is a key component, but it’s tricky figuring out which style you have. Check out these gals from TV and movies to see how you match up.
QUIZ: What’s Your Attachment Style?
Baby from “Dirty Dancing” – Secure
For only being 18 years old, Baby sure is mature. When hunky Johnny Castle pulls away (avoidant, much?) because he thinks he’s not good enough for her, she doesn’t freak out and become an anxious stalker.
Read More
Instead, she lets him go do his thang. She also takes on her disapproving dad and goes against his wishes, but in a way that shows that she trusts he will still be there for her when she needs her father again.
Summer from “500 Days of Summer” – Avoidant
It’s rare that you see unsympathetic, emotionally unavailable women on the big screen, but as Summer, Zooey Deschanel played the part perfectly—always keeping Tom at arm’s length no matter how devoted (albeit slightly anxiously) he was to her.
MORE: Dating Someone with Commitment Phobia
Bridget Jones/Daniel Cleaver/Mark Darcy from "Bridget Jones' Diary" – Anxious/Avoidant/Secure
Always on the edge of reason, Bridget (center) is a self-proclaimed “singleton” with more than a few fears about relationships. She winds up entangled with womanizer Daniel Cleaver (right), until he cheats on her with a colleague.
Read More
That’s unfortunately not the last of him though, as he has a knack for preying on Bridget’s weakest moments until Mark Darcy (left), her secure (though cranky) childhood friend, turns out to be Mr. Right. He even sticks with her when he reads her rather unflattering diary entries about him. Instead of running away, he buys her a new diary “to make a fresh start.” Leave it to Darcy to make women everywhere swoon.
Alicia Florrick from “The Good Wife” – Secure
Alicia is an intelligent, grounded mother and lawyer who, despite having the rug pulled out from under her when her politician husband cheats on her, she handles her situation with strength and maturity.
MORE: Attachment Styles: The Secret to a Secure Relationship
Read More
With two kids still at home, no-nonsense Alicia tries to work on her marriage (while sleeping in separate bedrooms), but eventually kicks out her husband when she finds out he cheated on her (again) with a friend.
Tami Taylor from “Friday Night Lights” - Secure
Being the wife of a celeb-status, small-town football coach sure is tough, especially when you have your own demanding career as a high school principal, and both a teenager and baby to raise.
Read More
But no matter how much time away from the family Eric’s job demanded, Tami never took it personally. Even when they came to a crossroads in the final season about her career move to Philadelphia, she let Eric come to his decision in his own time, and their relationship was better for it.
Samantha from “Sex and the City” – Avoidant
Always the self-assured, independent woman, Samantha enjoys “having sex like a man” and demands that her sexual partners leave “an hour after I climax.”
MORE: In a Relationship, with a TV Character?
Read More
Commitment phobic to the core, she literally falls into an open street cellar when her gorgeous boy-toy, Smith, tries to hold her hand. But in the end, Smith’s security calms her fears. Endlessly supportive (remember when he shaved his head? Or sent the flowers that only bloom in spring? Okay, yes, we cried!), Smith gives her just enough freedom and firmness to be herself without sacrificing love.
Temperance 'Bones' Brennan from “Bones” – Avoidant
Bones might be a genius, but there’s a reason her most meaningful relationships are with dead people.
Read More
Her ex calls her “emotionally distant and cold” and when her partner, Agent Booth, gets up the nerve to kiss her, she pushes away saying, “I’m trying to save you from myself.” (Oh, please! We waited forever for that?) Bones and Booth are now a full-fledged couple, but despite a valiant effort on Booth’s part, intimacy still isn’t her strong suit.
Rachel Berry from “Glee” – Anxious
Finn Hudson has the patience of a saint. As Rachel Berry’s onscreen boyfriend, he puts up with her matching his and hers calendars, constant cries for attention and mandates for him to quit the football team so other girls won’t flirt with him.
COLUMN: Have a Secure Relationship
Read More
She even sends head cheerleader, Quinn Fabray, to test Finn’s loyalty by trying to hook up with him. If she could tattoo her name on his face, she probably would. (Fortunately for him, that hasn’t occurred to her… yet.)
Liz Lemon from “30 Rock” – Fearful
After Santa betrayed her, Liz’s love life took a turn for the worse. Between her insanely high expectations (hello, Astronaut Mike Dexter), her extensive list of dealbreakers and her desire to start a relationship 12 years in, dating isn’t exactly her specialty.
Read More
She’ll go back to a dud like Dennis Duffy to cure her lonely heart, then find a way to avoid the next level when the guy might actually be good for her (“Sex makes all the people go away!”). Not the best recipe for finding a Future Husband.
Nala from “The Lion King” – Secure
Nala is the perfect example of calm, cool, collected. When she meets Simba in the jungle after he disappears, she worries that (cue music) “he’s holding back, he’s hiding, but what? I can’t decide” (cue Academy Award).
COLUMN: Choosing a Good Couples Therapist
Read More
Her response is 100 percent secure. She realizes his issues have nothing to do with her, reinforces her support for him and lets him be until he’s ready to come back on his own. Who says Disney can’t write a strong female character?
