The Language of Love

Romance isn’t necessary. Ideal chemistry isn’t the only hallmark of a good, lasting sexual relationship, psychologists say. “Those who are intensely in love from the outset are only slightly more likely to have a good relationship,” says Aron. “Talk to anyone in India, where arranged marriages are the norm, and they’ll tell you it’s possible to grow to love someone.”

Psychologist Robert Epstein, a former editor-in-chief of "Psychology Today," argues that “almost any two people who feel at least some attraction for each other and who don't have too many deal breakers can work together to build psychological, romantic and physical intimacy that will get stronger over time.”

Aron says that couples can succeed if they communicate well, are in reasonable mental health and not under too much stress. Happiness is important at the beginning of marriage, but communication is key to being able to maintain that happiness over time, he explains. Arons’ research pinpoints boredom, not lack of chemistry, as a marriage killer. To keep things exciting, keep doing new, fun and unexpected things together, he says.

QUIZ: What Kind Of Girlfriend (or Boyfriend) Are You?