If a man tells you he is not interested in you — believe him. Whether you are at the beginning of a flirtation or stuck in the middle of a relationship that’s going nowhere, pay attention to the clues. If he is really yours, a man will tell you he loves you and show you how important you are in his life. The message will come in simple acts of tenderness. If someone loves you, they want to be with you. They are invested in you and your relationship. They feel obligated and responsible.

If those signs are missing, you can believe he’s telling you that he doesn’t really care. Listen to your inner voice and be honest with yourself. Don’t second-guess this man and don’t sell yourself short. Don’t get strung along. Waste no more time trying to convince him. It’s not you. Here are 10 signs he’s not interested.

His looks around. A lot.

Science has proven that men can’t take their eyes away when they have an interest in a woman. If he doesn’t really look at you, he’s not attracted.

He doesn’t call you.

You’re always the one who suggests getting together. When a man is into you, he wants to see you.

He never tries to show off for you.

If he’s never bragged about his success at work or shown off his new car, he probably doesn’t care what you think.

You never go out on a date.

He only suggests wining and dining at home. That’s a signal that he does not want to be seen with you in public. How loving is that?

You never know where he is.

If he needs to keep his schedule private, he is telling you that you are not important. He does not want to be tied down to you.

He flirts with other women.

He leaves your side to go join a woman at another table across the room. He’s not flirting to make you jealous.  He’s more interested in her than you.

He is secretive.

He keeps you out of his life. He won’t share himself with you or reveal his likes and dislikes, his strengths and weaknesses. He doesn’t want you to know who he is. It’s a clear signal that you aren’t significant to him.

He’s never done anything nice for you.

You’ve known each other for three months and he’s never picked you up at the airport, brought you dinner when you’re working late or offered to fix any broken thing at your place. This. Man. Does. Not. Care.

Your problems are not his worry.

You know the one where your girlfriend complains her guy is always trying to fix every little problem for her? And your guy has never even held your hand in a crisis? If a man is interested in you, his natural provider instinct will kick in when he knows something is wrong.

You’ve never met his family.

A man who is committed wants to bring you into his sphere. He wants his children to know you. Think about the sons who won’t bring a date home to meet their parents until they’re confident they’ve met the right woman.