We all want love and affection in a relationship, but sometimes that love can turn clingy. When you first start dating someone, you might want to spend all your time with them and not even realize that the other person needs some space. Being overly needy gets old very quickly and can be the source of a lot of issues. If you think you’re starting to become THAT clingy boyfriend/girlfriend, these are five signs you’re becoming overbearing in a relationship:

You’re not spending enough time with your friends

If you’re finding yourself ditching all your plans with your friends to hang out with your SO… there’s something wrong going on. Just because you get into a relationship doesn’t mean you should neglect your friends. Making time to still hang out with your friends ensures that you and your partner will get that necessary time away from each other.

You get jealous often

Jealousy is a completely normal emotion to feel once in a while. But if you find yourself feeling jealous all the time over irrational things, then it’s a problem. Communicating with your partner is key to overcoming jealousy, so if you do find yourself feeling jealous often, it’s best to talk things through.

You monitor their social media

Sure, it’s okay to occasionally look at their social media page to see what’s new. It’s not okay to continually check and monitor who they follow and what they are liking. That is only going to lead to paranoia, which will likely cause fights. You should be able to trust your partner- in social media and real life. If you’re finding that you can’t seem to pull away from it, and your partner has given you no reason to doubt them, invest a few hours a week to working on yourself. Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior is an excellent resource to start shining a light on your own self-defeating behaviors that might be compromising your relationships.

You message them 24/7

Of course, it’s essential to be in contact with your partner and know what they’re up to, but that doesn’t mean you need to talk to them constantly. A relationship needs space, and that’s more than just physical space. Plus, not talking to your partner all day, every day, means there is more to talk about when you actually see each other in real life.

The relationship is moving too quickly 

You and your partner might be progressing at different levels in the relationship, but you don’t want to pressure them into speeding things up if they’re not comfortable with it. That will only make you come off overbearing and clingy. Talk things through, communicate, and see where their heads at