A woman stays in a yo-yo relationship because the guy has got her hooked with intermittent rewards. He goes, he comes back. He woos and wins you. Then he goes again. You hang in there remembering the good times. When he comes around again, you take him back. He rewards your persistence just enough to suck you into the next round. of reconciliation. Just when you think you’ve finally had enough of the merry-go-round, he’s back. How can you get off this fun ride that’s not any fun? Here are five tricks that will free you once and for all.
Talk is cheap. Leaving is a clue that he’s just not that into you. He may say he misses you, but then he’s gone again. Don’t fall for any declarations (“I love you, baby”) that contradict his actions. His rejection should speak much louder than any sweet words of endearment. He is what he does.
The yo-yo is driving you nuts. Of course, you can’t think straight when his actions don’t match up with his words. He’s telling you he loves you one day, and the next day he’s gone. Or he’s telling you he loves you, and then he turns around and levels a hurtful barrage of critical putdowns. This kind of inconsistency doesn’t make sense. You’ll go nuts if you try to find sense in what he’s doing.
It’s time for the craziness to stop. Recognize that the only way to restore your balance is to trust your instinct to run as far and as fast as you can from this toxic relationship. Take a look at how miserable you’ve been and ask yourself if you want to live this way.
You deserve better. Really, truly, you do deserve better than being strung along. Marriage may not be your end goal in this game, but constant doubt about his feelings will only jerk you around and destroy your self-esteem. Don’t forget your value.
You do have control. He’s been in control deciding how much you see him, when, and where. Take charge and call a halt. Break the spell and up with him once and for all. Block his texts and don’t return his calls. Don’t take the bait when he comes around looking for another reconciliation. Decide that you want a relationship that works and recognize that this one does not and will not. Put yourself first and put an end to the yo-yo.
Once you break the addiction, you won’t get sucked in to another one. A yo-yo relationship teaches painful lessons but coming out on the other side will help inoculate you against others.