We all go through phases in life when we’re just not interested in having sex- especially in a long term relationship. You love your partner so much and want to be with them, but you’re just finding yourself in a sex rut. It’s natural, and it’s common. Low libido can happen for many reasons.

Maybe you just feel like sex with your partner is no longer exciting. Perhaps you’ve been extra stressed recently. There’s no right or wrong reason for a low sex drive, but it’s essential to understand where the core of the issue is coming from and resolve it. Here are a few tips on how you spark your sex drive:

Be upfront
Both people need to be pleasured during sex, and if you feel that’s what is lacking, you need to be upfront about your needs. Communication is vital in every relationship, and that means communicating about your sexual desires, too. Before you have sex, sit down with your partner, discuss what you need, and work together to get it.

Try something new
If you still love sex with your partner but feel like it’s lacking excitement- try something new! You might find yourself falling in love with having sex with them all over again. Experiment with new positions, sex toys, role play, dirty talk- the list goes on and on!

Make a schedule
I know, scheduling in nights to have sex seems anything but romantic, but when you’re in a sex rut, it’s necessary. You might feel like you’re too busy and stressed to have sex, but if you make a schedule and stick to it, it’s already going to be a part of your routine.

This can be masturbating together or masturbating alone- either way, masturbation is important for your health. It can help get you out of this rut. Masturbation promotes relaxation and improves your mood, meaning you might be more tempted to have sex afterward.

Try sexting
If you’re not into having sex in real life- try it over the phone. Surprise your partner with some dirty texts throughout the day, and maybe you’ll find yourself eager to jump their bones when you actually get to see them. Sexting is an easy way to spice things up and may spark your sex drive.