People often think of finances as a straightforward, logical subject. While we’d all love that to be accurate, the reality is that the way we manage our finances has less to do with logic and more to do with our family history. Money management is rarely taught in school, so where did we learn about handling our finances?

That’s right, most of our instruction on money management comes from our parents. That can be great, but it can also be problematic. Worse yet, it’s these different histories that cause the most strife when it comes to making financial decisions with a partner. If you think it’s time to sit down and get you and your partner on the same page about finances, we’ve got the guide to help you.

Location, Location, Location
If you’re reading this article, you probably know that discussions about what financial decisions to make with your partner can get heated quickly. The first step towards getting on the same page when it comes to your finances is not to kill your partner while discussing finances. Easier said than done, we know.

To keep things civil and thus productive, plan finance dates where you plan and discuss your financial issues in the safety of a public place. Being in public will keep you both polite and ensure no blood is spilled before the money is spent. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Make a Financial Vision Board
It doesn’t really have to be a vision board at all, but you should definitely spend time with your partner deciding what your ultimate financial goals look like. Do you want to pay off your student debt ASAP? Do you want to buy a house first? It’s nearly impossible to be on the same page about financial decisions if you’re working towards different goals. Align your goals to align your finances.

Set Up Systems
Here’s the fun part (okay, maybe for finance nerds): once you have your goals outlined, it’s time to set up systems to reach those goals. Systems can be as simple as deciding to set aside $150 a month into a savings account or committing to monthly budget check-ins where you review your finances and make changes to your spending habits. By outlining your goals together and creating systems to achieve those goals, you’ll be able to make decisions from the same perspective about what to spend on and what to save.