Good women who attract bad men often wind up blaming themselves and wondering, “What am I doing wrong?” Here’s a news flash for those women: You are not to blame. Narcissists and psychopaths can spot a woman with great qualities just as easily as normal men can. It’s the creep’s inability to feel empathy or love that makes a relationship with them so poisonous. Look for a man who gives you more than he takes and who values you as much as he values himself. You are worth it. Don’t blame yourself if a toxic creep recognizes your worth. Just make sure that you’ll recognize him for what he is and that you are prepared to defend yourself against him.

These are qualities that will draw a narcissist or psychopath to a great woman.

You are capable of great love.

You are a target because the creep recognizes that you truly care and share the hurt of someone who is in trouble or in pain. You love with a high degree of trust and compassion. You show loyalty, tolerance and attachment in your relationships. There is nothing wrong with your demonstration of love. The narcissist will recognize this great quality and exploit your strengths and goodness. Psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists care about no one but themselves. They lack any degree of empathy, and without empathy, love cannot exist. You have to recognize that he does not love you.

You are reliable and responsible.

You were targeted because you show the very desirable qualities of reliability, emotional maturity and ability to take charge. Give yourself permission to find a more whole, balanced partner. You need a balanced life to achieve your own wellness. You need the freedom to be a free spirit, and you need a partner who will relieve you of taking on more responsibilities.

You are powerful.

Powerful women often intimidate a normal man, but a narcissist is not normal. He’s not afraid of a strong woman, and he’d love the chance to take advantage of you. You need a relationship that allows you to be vulnerable and supported. No matter how much you have it together, you need a man who will build you up.

You have a good relationship with your father.

The idea seems contradictory, but a healthy and loving relationship with your father can leave you susceptible to a toxic lover. If you have no experience with men who do not have your best interest at heart, you may not recognize or believe that bad people can hurt you. If you grew up with a father who was loving and healthy, you may not believe that a man would target you specifically for your capacity to love.

Read More: Why Narcissists (And Psychopaths) Are Attracted to Good Women