Relationships come in different packages, and sometimes what you’d like is not what you get. With over 7 billion people in the world, you can date one person a day and still never get through them. Dating isn’t just about getting together with a person. It’s about getting together with the right person for you.

A lot of people dive into relationships without figuring out what they want. This, more often than not, ends up in the demise of the relationship, leaving both partners scarred. Rather than throwing pasta at a wall and seeing what sticks, you can to do some soul searching and ask yourself some questions to help you figure out what you need. What exactly are you looking for in a partner? What are you willing to tolerate in a relationship, and what are the deal breakers?

Check the dynamics
Let’s get hypothetical for a second. Supposing you’re in a relationship that’s going well and then one person has to move out of town. What do you do? Do you end the relationship because you cannot cope with the distance, or do you see where it goes? These are both plausible questions that will streamline your search for the perfect partner for you. Also, with relationships, there are particular dynamics involved. How your potential partner treats you or makes you feel is very important because you should never go into a physically, mentally, or emotionally (or exhausting) abusive relationship.

Define the type
There are different types of relationships, and without proper definition, one may be misconstrued for the other. You could be in a detached relationship i.e., one which is void of emotional ties. You could be in a platonic relationship, a friend with benefits relationship, a loose monogamous one, or even a loose polyamorous one. Once you’re getting attracted to someone and have gone on a few dates, it may be time to define the relationship to avoid being led on. If you’re not happy with the type of relationship your partner has established, you can always get out. That way, you’re aware of what you want and don’t settle for less.

Relationships can be beautiful, and they can equally be burdensome. However, before getting into one, become familiar with the types and what you need out of one. That will make your dating life much more comfortable.